It Stays As It Was Left

1993.2015

October 22, 1993

Stevie lay in her hotel room bed, feeling exhausted after the gig. It was the fourth concert of the tour and Stevie had forgotten just how tiring it can be to play. It had never felt that tiring before, it used to be exhilarating. She credited her newfound tire to Becca, who she stayed up with until four in the morning the night before, washing the vomit from her body. She had lost control of her hands and was unable to clean herself, terrifying Jenni.

Becca continued to worsen and it had got to the point that the girls all carried Narcan on them, terrified that Becca could overdose at any point. The girls had to carry her around everywhere, and more often than not, Jimmy had to fill in for her. The fans were beginning to grow concerned for her as well, asking the girls how she was doing when they asked for autographs and pictures. The girls could only smile and say that she had drunk a little too much that night, or that she was sick.

Stevie had begun to feel the urgency to get Becca to quit creeping in, wrapping around her spine like a tendril of darkness. It was taking over everything, including her time with Dave. She could never focus on him when they were together, too worried about what Jenni was letting Becca get away with. She knew that if something wasn't done soon, Becca would pass the point of no return.

Stevie's thoughts were interrupted by the sounds of the hotel room being unlocked. She had given Dave the second key so that he could come in whenever he needed to get away from the sounds of Kurt and Courtney arguing. She listened to the sounds of his feet approaching the bed and Stevie let out a tired smile, wanting nothing more than to cuddle with the man. It wasn't until she felt a small weight placed on her back along with the soft noises that Frances had been using to string words together that she realized it wasn't just Dave that had come to visit her.

Frances rolled off of Stevie and took a seat next to her, placing her little hands on the woman's face. Stevie opened her mouth and pretended to chew on the toddler's fingers, making her burst into laughter.

"Hello, Frances," Stevie greeted and the girl produced a few babbles that sounded like her version of a greeting. "It's nice to see you."

Stevie and Frances had gotten along very well, Courtney even going so far as to call her Frances' auntie, which Stevie adored. Even though Stevie knew she wanted children one day, hanging out with Frances had only confirmed it. She had even begun to daydream about settling down one day, having a few children, and doing mundane everyday things with them. However, she wasn't exactly sure if Dave would fit into that picture she had created, even though she really wanted him to. She knew it would be a while until he would settle down and start a family, which she understood. Nirvana grew bigger by the day and even though she knew more than most just how strained the band was, Stevie knew Dave wasn't going to stop playing any time soon.

Dave took a seat next to Frances, who sent him a three-toothed grin. He leaned forward to tickle her sock-covered foot and looked down at his half-asleep girlfriend.

"Tired?" He asked rhetorically and Stevie nodded.

"Exhausted."

"Are you okay?" He asked. "I've never seen you like this."

Usually, after a gig, Dave would find her writing, watching TV, or sitting outside to talk to some fans that had lingered.

"I'm okay," She reassured. "Just tired. Dealing with Becca has been tiring."

Dave frowned and nodded, brushing a few braids out of her face.

"Are you sure it's just that?" He asked. Stevie nodded, grabbing Frances' hand and swinging it before the toddler pulled one of her braids.