001/Peter Ballard Oneshots (DISCONTINUED)

⛓️❤️ I'm sorry

Tw for this chapter! There will be discussion of self harm and mental illness in this chapter, if these topics bother you feel free to skip this one :)

This takes place in the lab, peter/001 is NOT a love interest in this oneshot, he is instead a father figure to child y/n

(Mini prologue) Y/n's pov:

002 and his friends have been bullying me again, it's gotten so bad I had to go to the infirmiry 3 times this week

I don't understand why they hate me so much, what did I even do wrong? There must be something bad about me. Something wrong with me...

I've felt this way awhile, out of place here. Nobody seems to like me, none of the kids atleast. They all ignore me or harass me constantly

It's been this way for years and I can't do anything about it. I can't say anything or they'll kill me

And when you can't talk about your feelings, you have to do something with them. Something to release the pain of this life

That's why when I found the shard of a broken mirror, I picked it up and brought it to my room. And there was no greater comfort that small peice of glass, erasing the problems of the day

end of mini prologue

After today's lessons I ran to the cafeteria, just about the only thing I look forward to in the day is eating in the cafeteria

Like I said I'm not friends with any of the kids but I have become friends with one of the staff. Peter, he calls himself

I scanned the small room searching for him, and sprinted to the table he sat at

"How was your day y/n?" He asks thoughtfully

I shrug, the memories of today flooding back to me "it was good" I tell him

"Y/n, y/n, y/n. Such a faliure.. you can't even pass Papa's lessons half the time! You shouldn't even be here. It'd be better if you just left, nobody wants you hear anyway! Well except that freak peter"

002's words replay in my mind, he has cornered me in the rainbow room today and ridiculed me for no particular reason

Peter realizes I'm lying but says nothing. He just simply nods and continues on eating

After I've finished my meal I rush off to my room, trying my best to not look strange. One time I ran 'weirdly' and almost got beat to death

Once I reached the safe haven of my room I finally let myself cry about the day I'd just experienced. I let myself feel vulnerable. But I don't like feeling vulnerable for too long. I like having some control

I open my drawer and pull out that peice of glass I'd picked up so many months ago

Pulling up my hospital gown revealed dozens of scars, decorating my upper thighs with stripes that will never fade away

I trace the lines with my fingers, recalling when I'd made them all before. A feeling of anxiety bubbles up inside me at the thought

I'm crazy aren't I? Normal people don't do this to themselves

Yet I don't care, I bring the shard to my bare skin, as it peirces my skin a sense of euphoria washes over me. All my other thoughts and emotions have been overpowered by this pain, it's exhilarating

Pools of blood spill out, painting me with my own mess, my own horrible, self destructive mess. That is somehow so addictive to me.

As I'm staring at what I've just done. Someone opens my door, it's peter.

I try to hide the evidence as best I can, but he still saw everything, Panic fills my body, what will he think of me? He must be so disappointed.

However I get a completely different reaction out of him, he opens his arms out to me and lets me hug him. His embrace makes me feel safe, like nothing can hurt me, aslong as he's here

"Y/n, why would you do this?" He asks quietly

I shrug, even though there are so many things I could say. I stay silent, in hopes he'll just leave my room and forget this happened at all

He obviously doesn't do this. He stays in my room, resting his hands on mine, encouraging me to talk

"It's 002 and his friends.. they've been.." I trail off, I'm sure he understands though because he nods and moves on from the subject

He picks up a price of cloth and starts treating my wounds, he looks painfully sad the whole time, I feel a bit guilty for making him feel like that.

"Im sorry, I'm so stupid" I muttered under my breath

"Don't be sorry, it's not your fault. I'm just glad I was here to help" he says, voice slightly breaking

I feel my stomach clench at his voice, its weird hearing someone usually so calm, strong, and protective, fall apart infront of you

It's like seeing your dad cry

After he finished bandaging me up, he takes the glass, slips it in his pocket, and gives me another long tight hug

"I'm sorry you're going through this y/n, you deserve better than feeling like shit" he whisperes before slipping out of my room

"We'll talk about this more tomorrow"

A/n

Hey guys, bit of a sad chapter today, I hope you guys enjoy this one. As someone who has struggled with self harm in the past It makes me feel seen when fanfics include a few chapters like this. That is my goal with this book, to make everyone feel happy, loved, and seen

❤️
Word count: 957