Painful Memories

Chapter 5

My heartbeat was loud in my ears, almost drowning out my thoughts. I couldn't stop scanning our surroundings, expecting ambushes at every turn. I didn't know much about Aurora—other than her being my aunt's former lady-in-waiting, of course—but past experiences had taught me to always be wary. Every time I thought about the attack, saw Dad's anguished face in my mind, tears would prick at my eyes.

I shifted my thoughts to the present, the interaction soon to take place. What was I going to say? I didn't have a clue. Honestly, I wasn't sure I'd be able to speak without screaming at her.

When Aurora spoke again, I flinched. I hadn't realized we'd stopped. "Your Highness? We're here." The palace loomed before me, blue-and-green pennants flapping in the current. The guards stationed at the front doors nodded at us before opening them. I felt more than saw every eye in the entryway slide to us. Conversation halted, a hush falling over the water.

I held my head high, despite my blood-spattered clothes. Without a word, Aurora again gestured for me to follow. My hands were trembling at my sides, my heart in my throat. We swam through several hallways, down several flights of stairs, before finally coming to the dungeons.

I inhaled sharply. My hands reflexively formed fists at my sides. The guard bowed before opening the door, the hinges creaking loudly as we swam inside. I bit back another shiver, drawing my cloak tighter around myself. My heart skipped a beat when I swam in front of Aunt Naia's cell, trembling with barely-restrained rage. Silt covered every inch of her dress, the sleeves torn and hanging by a thread.

When she saw my blood-spattered clothes, her eyebrows rose, a smirk finding her lips. "Isadora," she said, voice filled with bitterness. "To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?"

I couldn't contain myself any longer. Daggers out, I flew at Aunt Naia, gripping the collar of her dress and jerking her face toward me. She narrowly missed colliding with the bars, turning her head at the last possible second. "Uncle Brandon would have been proud. The staging, the execution—both were flawless. There were no casualties, though. Why is that, I wonder? You certainly had no problem killing Jesper." I heaved a breath as I finished, my voice a heartbeat away from breaking.

Her eyes turned steely, her nostrils flaring. "I gave the order to kill you. Your guard was an unfortunate casualty, yes, but it happened before the attack. I meant what I said, Isadora. Even if it takes a lifetime, I will see you dead. Just as your mother should have been."

I wanted to wrap my hands around her neck and squeeze. I wanted to see the life vanish from her eyes as surely as it had from Jesper's. I was so focused on the rage flowing through me that it took a few seconds for her last words to register. I'd been in the process of turning to leave, but froze.

I whirled back around, eyes wide with tears. "W-what did you say?" The rage was gone from my tone, replaced by shock and fear.

She smirked. "I thought you knew. I assumed they would have told you." Her voice was filled with smugness.

I shook my head. "I—I don't understand." I'd known that Mom had died giving birth to me, but I'd assumed that no one but the doctor had known the risks.

Her eyes were void of any and all sympathy. In fact, they held a certain glee, as if she'd been waiting decades to tell me this. "I knew about the risks of childbirth. Our own mother nearly died after giving birth to the three of us. Why do you think Brandon and I've never tried for children?"

The hidden message in those words took me a minute to puzzle through. The realization tore through me like a hurricane. "You resent your sister so much that you would withhold life-saving information from her, letting her risk not only her life, but my own?" My voice broke on the last word, all the strength leaving my body in a rush.

I sank to the ground, ignoring the silt settling on my clothes. This was worse than Jesper's death. It was worse than the all the tasks that she'd given me. It felt like she'd ripped my heart out with her bare hands.

She didn't answer, just stared at me, a sly smile on her face. I spun around to leave, not sparing her a second glance. When I got to the door, I said to the guard floating in front of me, my voice strong and clear, "Don't waste any more food on her. She deserves to rot."

I knew she heard me. A heartbeat later, an ear-piercing scream shattered the silence, followed by clanging and shouting. The guard nodded, bowing to me before opening the door. My hands were shaking before I even got a few feet away from the dungeons. A loud, gasping sob tore from me. I clamped one hand over my mouth, the other bracing myself against the wall.

In my haze of grief, I blew past Aurora, barely hearing her words. "Your Highness?"

I didn't so much as acknowledge her. I swam hard for Beltmare, grief almost overwhelming me to the point where I couldn't breathe. When I finally reached the palace, I sped towards our suite, nearly missing it. Doubling back, I took a minute to compose myself as best I could.

Tears stained my cheeks, but I scrubbed at my face, furiously trying to remove any trace of grief. When I opened the door, worried eyes stared back at me. "Izzy? You're shaking! What happened?" Kai's voice was full of questions I wasn't sure I could answer.

He wrapped an arm around my shoulder, ushering me inside. "Where were you? You missed breakfast. I spoke to your parents, but they said they hadn't seen you since yesterday." When I didn't respond, he scanned my face. "Are you okay?" He asked, his voice softer now.

I couldn't speak. My mind was still trapped in that awful moment in the dungeon, the confession that would change our family's life forever. Her words were like poisoned daggers, hitting my heart with perfect accuracy. "'Even if it takes a lifetime, I will see you dead. Just as your mother should have been.'"

He gripped my hand, leading me to the sitting room. We both sat on the couch, the sudden movement breaking me out of the grief-filled haze that had settled over me. "S-she kept that from us for years," I finally whispered, my chest hitching. "What kind of person does that?"

I could feel the confusion all but radiating off him. He didn't press me, though. "Aunt Naia told me the truth. About Mom when she was pregnant with me. I'd known that she'd died giving birth to me, but I thought only the doctor was aware of the risks."

I turned to face him, eyes filled with grief and shock. "She knew all along the risks that came with childbirth, but she withheld the information from Mom. It's the reason she and Uncle Brandon never tried for children. 'Even if it takes a lifetime, I will see you dead. Just as your mother should have been.'" The words were filled with grief and bitterness.

Kai held my hand the whole time I'd spoken, never saying a word. "What happens now?" He asked. "Are you going to break the news to your parents?"

A jolt went through me at his words. I hadn't even considered how I'd break the news to Mom and Dad. They were already dealing with so much; I didn't want to add to their worry. "I can't deal with this right now," I whispered. I swam into the bedroom, washing my face before swimming into bed. It was barely dusk, but I was already exhausted.

Kai followed me, brushing a kiss to my temple before speaking softly. "I'll go get us some dinner while you sleep. I won't be gone long."

I barely heard him. Exhaustion had already begun pulling me under, my eyes closing as I fell asleep.

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