1776. New York City.
Alice: Pardon me. Are you Aaron Burr, sir?
BURR
That depends. Who’s asking?
Alice: Oh, well, sure, sir,
I’m Alic-Alexander Hamilton, I’m at your service, sir. (ALMOST SCREWD UP)
I have been looking for you.
BURR: I’m getting nervous. (My guy looks scrawny...)
Alice: I heard your name at Princeton. I was seeking an accelerated course of study when I got sort of out of
sorts with a buddy of yours. I may have punched him. It’s a blur, sir. He handles the financials?
BURR: (Pfffff he punched my buddy) You punched the bursar.
Alice: ...I wanted to do what you did. Graduate in two, then join the revolution. He looked at me like I was stupid,
I’m not stupid.
So how’d you do it? How’d you graduate so fast?
BURR: It was my parents’ dying wish before they passed.
Alice: You’re an orphan. Of course! I’m an orphan.
God, I wish there was a war!
Then we could prove that we’re worth more
than anyone bargained for…
Alice suddenly looked at the floor with a frowned, suddenly remembering what her brother said...
Burr: Can I buy you a drink?
Alice: That would be nice.
BURR: While we’re talking, let me offer you some free advice.
Talk less.
Alice smiles fade, first she Bagan to panic thinking Burr discoverd her secret
Alice: What?
BURR: Smile more.
But then she was filled with rage, smile? Oh no no no
Alice: Ha.
Alice eyes held a venomous glare
BURR: Don’t let them know what you’re against or what you’re fo-
Punch
BWAM!
Alice: You can’t be serious! How could you tell?
BURR: *grabbing his jaw* dude what the fuck?!
Alice: Tell me! (Whispers)Tell me how you knew I was female
BURR: WAIT WH-
LAURENS: Yo yo yo yo yo!
What time is it?
LAURENS/LAFAYETTE/MULLIGAN
Show time!
Alice: SHHHH please I'm doing this for my family
BURR: …like I said…
Laurens: Show time! Show time! Yo!
I’m John Laurens in the place to be!
Two pints o’ Sam Adams, but I’m workin’ on three, uh!
Those redcoats don’t want it with me!
Cuz I will pop chick-a pop these cops till I’m free!
LAFAYETTE: Oui oui, mon ami, je m’appelle Lafayette!
The Lancelot of the revolutionary set!
I came from afar just to say “Bonsoir!”
Tell the King “Casse toi!” Who’s the best?
C’est moi!
MULLIGAN: Brrrah brraaah! I am Hercules Mulligan,
Up in it, lovin’ it, yes I heard ya mother said “Come again?”
Lock up ya daughters and horses, of course
it’s hard to have intercourse over four sets of corsets…
LAURENS: No more sex, pour me another brew, son!
Let’s raise a couple more…
LAURENS/LAFAYETTE/MULLIGAN
To the revolution!
LAURENS: Well, if it ain’t the prodigy of Princeton college!
MULLIGAN;Aaron Burr!
LAURENS: Give us a verse, drop some knowledge!
BURR: Good luck with that: you’re takin’ a stand.
You spit. I’m ‘a sit. We’ll see where we land.
LAFAYETTE/MULLIGAN: Boooo!
Laurens: Burr, the revolution’s imminent. What do you stall for?
Alice: (mumbles) If you stand for nothing, Burr, what’ll you fall for?
YOU ARE READING
Alice Hamilton
Historical FictionWhat if Alexander Hamilton wasn't really who he claimed to be, what if the he is a she? Guys I've been wanting to do something like this for a long time. like the idea itself has been racking my brain so womp here it is please enjoy and don't be a...
