Deadly and Anime Diary

Wow....I really hate myself

the title would be just that. I don't want to rant but I think I should. I'm starting to get really irritated cause no matter how hard I try and no matter what rankings I get on my books i cant seem to get more readers or viewers. And yea in the beginning when I first came out with FFS I grew pretty quickly but what happened to that....what am I doing wrong! I FEEL LIKE A DISSAPOINTMENT! yea ye aim more popular than most on here and I should be thankful but why why do people who write fan fictions get more fucking fame! when I tried to write a Naruto one nothing was viewed just like Scream of the Tombstones is now which I tried so hard to make a plot for. Something not original getting more fame. YEA YEA they are original plots but you cant say you made up the things from the original. I just want to know what im doing wrong....Did you know that when these were finished my family is forcing me to publish.....I DONT WANT TO PUBLISH CRAPPY BOOKS!!! I don't want to be just like that 10 year old writer with no talent! I want to be up there with fucking Edgar Allan poe and Steven king!*sigh* this is my pride but if I'm not even good at it why spending my hours writing it or getting in trouble for writing a rough draft in classes on paper only to sped some time to copy it on here. Writing ideas and key words I want to use on my hand. I just want to be somebody and yea i  have time im only a kid, but I don't want to remember my childhood being full of shit it shouldn't just like listening to how my friends are so depressed and need to be watched over. I don't. what happened to my simple life of being a no one. I say that often I know someone who would tell you I do to prove. Y'know it's true I do like attention since I never got it to myself. I was raised with a twin so I never got to be well have attention so when I  find something im good at I want to embrace it. cause my family is tough. No failing allowed and you cant be a bad person or you're evil. you cant be nothing but good and successful. maybe that's the good way to be raised, i have turned out to be a  good kid. So now you know why I try to be good at drawing and why I can sing and why I can write.

I'm done ranting. Thanks for listening.