right where you left me

This takes place after Clint and Wanda talk about Natasha and Vision at the side of the lake. It also takes place instead of the scene with Happy and Morgan on the porch.
If you are reading this, feedback on how I can improve my writing is always appreciated.
I hope you enjoy!

1.

Peter was sitting by himself at the side of the lake, not too far from the lake house but far enough that no one could see him. He just wanted to be alone right now.
Any other day, being surrounded by his childhood heroes would have made him ecstatic, but not today.

The sun was warm as it beat down on him. He sat there on the grass in his stiff black suit, eyes red despite him not crying yet today. Peter and Tony had gone shopping for suits a few weeks before the Blip, for Tony and Pepper's wedding. Peter had never bought a suit before, and he was a bit unsure of whether to let Tony buy him one, especially after looking at the prices. When Peter offered to pay himself, Tony looked him in the eye and said, "Pete, this is a gift for you. Accept it. I've got way too much money anyways, I need someone to spend it on!"

Peter never could have imagined that he would be wearing it to a funeral, especially not Tony's.

He sat there in silence, still coming to terms with the fact that Tony was gone. His mentor and his hero. And most importantly, even though he wouldn't say it out loud, his father figure.

He had been his hero for as long as Peter could remember, ever since he had gone to the Stark Expo as a little kid and Iron Man had saved him from a Hammer Drone. Peter never told Tony that he was that kid in the Iron Man mask, and he doubted that Tony would remember it anyway. But if someone asked Peter who his hero was, he knew he wouldn't say Iron Man, he would say Tony Stark. The real Tony Stark.

Tony couldn't be gone, he just couldn't! He was Iron Man for God's sake, he can't just die! He had survived being kidnapped, tortured, alien invasions, going to space and many near death situations before!

But Peter knew that he was truly gone and he also knows that it's all his fault. 'If only I had got to Thanos first or not let him get the gauntlet none of this would have happened and Tony would still be alive.'

May keeps telling him that it's not his fault and nothing he could have done would have changed what happened on the battlefield, but every time this happens Peter just smiles a fake smile and nods his head in acknowledgment. Deep down, he still blames himself, no matter what anyone says.

Now as he looks out over the lake, all he can see in his minds eye is the wreath of flowers with Tony's first arc reactor on top of it floating across the calm water, signifying the finality of Tony's death.

An immense wave of guilt and sadness washes over Peter.

He feels his eyes burning and a lump in his throat that refuses to go away, and before he can control himself or bury his emotions, he breaks down into sobs and tears. This was the first time he'd cried today; he forced himself not to cry during the funeral to look strong, but now that he was alone he felt the barriers that he had put up in his head crash down.

He sat there on the lakeside sobbing into his hands, tears running down his face, feeling truly and utterly alone.

His parents, Uncle Ben, and now Mr. Stark. All gone, never to be seen again.

Sure, he has Aunt May, but she'll never understand what he's going through because she didn't know Mr. Stark the way he did. She knew the Mr. Stark that the press saw; the 'genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist' Tony Stark. Peter however had seen a side to Tony only a select few had seen, like Pepper, Rhodey and Happy. This was the side that made Tony Stark Peter's true hero.