Love All The Way

21| Royal flush

The next few days are both better and worse. With my first day officially under my belt, I know what to expect now when I step into that office - I know what to do to be productive. It feels less like walking a minefield and more like navigating a maze. It's worse because each morning, in those first few seconds of waking up, I think of him.

Ever since that night at the bar, it's been radio silent from Jess and the others on six. Not intentionally, I suppose, but because there is never an opportune moment to run into each other. The floors rarely mix aside from a brief elevator ride, and Jess gets in far later than I do, while Milo gets in much earlier, so even then, I don't see them. On the plus side, I've been so busy trying to fit in on seven that I rarely have a moment to mope.

Mulan takes a running leap and lands on my bed. Her face finds my armpit, burying itself into the folds of the covers as I gently rub her head. Maybe it's my imagination, but a part of me is sure she misses Milo.

I know I do.

I give her a head rub on his behalf and turn on my back, staring at the cracked, cobwebbed ceilings before reminding myself it has to be this way. I couldn't see it at first, couldn't figure out what was stopping me from giving up my job for a lifetime with him, but I get it now. If I give up this promotion, I'll always wonder what could have been, if maybe I'd have eventually found my feet. I'll always wonder, rightly or wrongly, whether my love for Milo held me back.

I allow myself a few more minutes before jumping in the shower. Hand on the tiles, I close my eyes and let the steam seep into my skin, trying not to think about him. And yet somehow, it's impossible. He breaks through my walls, sweeping through my thoughts in that vampire coat and wearing that ridiculously smoldering gaze. Either not having Milo has made me want him more, or I have the mental age of a pubescent boy, because my thoughts are all X-rated.

Ignoring the growing heat in my thighs, I focus on the simple routine of lathering in soap. It's a fruity scent - strawberry and kiwi - one I'm certain would drive Milo crazy, but I'm not going to think about that. I move onto my hair, squirting a dollop of shampoo into my palm before massaging it into my scalp. Maybe I'm touch-starved, but god, does it feel good.

When I've finished, I spend the next hour getting ready. Today we've got the open house viewing, which means it's my first real chance to make a good impression, so I'm going all out. I raid my closet for something to wear, settling on a sharp red dress that matches my slick of red lipstick. Maybe it's petty, but ever since Lucas assaulted me with his mouth, I'm hellbent on drowning in red.

Stripper red.

By the time I've finished, I'm as preened and glossy as the others in seven, ready to seize the day. Though something tells me, even with my go-getter attitude, things are unlikely to go according to plan. Still, there's no point in thinking so negatively. With a quick kiss to Mulan, I flounce out of my apartment, grab my morning coffee, and make my way to the subway.

The commute to work is unpleasant. An argument between a couple breaks out when the woman accidentally spills her coffee on him. He calls her a bitch, to which I step in and call out his language, so he calls me a dumb bitch too. By the time I get to the office, I'm hot, annoyed, and a speck of lipstick on the edge of my dress is driving me insane. It's not even eight.

I stumble toward the office, heels getting soaked in the sludge of melted slow, and pause when I get to the steps. As though whoever is in charge wants to make my life worse, Milo strolls up in that same vampire coat from my daydream.

We pause on the step and stare at each other. I'm in earlier than normal and hadn't considered the prospect of running into Milo, so now I'm like a robot that's on the verge of malfunctioning. From the expression he's wearing - confusion mixed with a hint of pleasure and a dash of disbelief - he hadn't expected me either. Why would he? We're not supposed to exist at this time, at least not together. Meeting like this has all but destroyed the equilibrium.