Thanks a Lot, Buddy (Grimmons fic)

The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Cooking Incident (Prelude)

So, at first, it sounded like a good idea. Donut enjoyed contributing at least one of his and his friends' meals. Usually, the ones who typically made the meals were: him, Tucker, Wash, Simmons, and sometimes Carolina and Sarge. If Doc was visiting, of course Donut would get his best friend for life to help him prepare some sort of unique and out of the ordinary dish that he'd could have sworn seeing Grif gag at eating them- after all, Doc was vegetarian, and therefore couldn't eat everything that everyone else would want to eat, unless there was a meatless or fish supplement. Donut was fine with whatever; as long as he got to cook something he was a-okay with anything. Except there was one time where SOMEBODY (he wasn't going to remember who that somebody was), on Halloween, decided to make a spider-themed dinner. With spider-themed decorations.

Long story short, Donut ran out of the room as fast as he could, screaming, all to the laughs of the rest of his team.

But today, Doc wasn't here. But it was Donut's cooking collab day- so he didn't have anyone to cook with. He had originally asked Wash, who couldn't, then Lopez, who he made the mistake of asking while the robot was trying to fix yet another one of Sarge's broken Warthogs. Then he asked everybody else, who turned him down. Save for a certain happy-go-lucky blue soldier.

Donut had originally been VERY hesitant to ask Caboose to help him; well, actually, Caboose had asked, and Donut just couldn't say no to him (although Caboose kept referring to him as "Lieutenant McMuffin," or "Major Cinnamon Bun." Though, by now, Donut didn't really care since they'd known each other for so long anyway. It had become their thing.)

The main reason was because, by this point, the Blues had STRONGLY advised the Reds, "Whatever you do, don't let Caboose in the kitchen. Y'know what, don't even fucking let him NEAR the kitchen," Tucker had told Donut. However, trying to keep Caboose away from the kitchen at all times was very difficult, so they'd all decided to tell Caboose that if he wanted orange juice or mac 'n cheese then he should ask whoever he could find. The reason? Because the Blue would completely obliterate it- none of his teammates would trust him with making anything that involved microwaves or ovens in fear of him setting the bases on fire. (They'd looked at Donut when they'd said that- were they still remembering the mishap with his vanilla scented candles?)

However, Donut couldn't say no to the blue soldier, so he had Caboose help prep what he was going to make: chicken taco soup, since it was getting colder this time of year on the planet of Iris.

Chicken taco soup wasn't that difficult to make. Donut had make it countless times before and even one time Sarge had complimented his cooking. So if chicken taco soup wasn't too bad, then it shouldn't be a problem for him and Caboose.

Well, see, that's what he over estimated. When they were done with prepping and waiting for the soup to be ready, Donut made the mistake of telling Caboose to help him wash the dishes. After all, he had to make a meal for 8 people, and so there was a lot of chopping and a lot of pans involved. 

When Caboose was still washing the pans, that was when Donut asked the question: "Hey Caboose, can you set the table for me?" He was currently cleaning up other things- he couldn't set the table just yet, so why not ask Caboose? What could go wrong? It wasn't like Caboose was actually a baby or anything.

"Sure thing, Admiral Buttercrust!" Caboose replied with a wide smile, setting the dish sponge and soap to the side of the sink and wiping his hands on the towel. 

"Thanks!"

The tall man smiled even more and walked over to the cabinet where the dishes where. He grabbed hold of them, then the silverware, and set them on the table in the dining room. 

"Hm," Donut thought for a second. "Hey, what drinks would everybody-"

"Orange juice." Was Caboose's immediately response.

Donut grinned and pointed to the wine cabinet. "Could you get me some wine? Any kind is fine, I don't mind what you choose."

Caboose nodded. "Then, let's see. Tucker likes chocolate milk. Agent Washington, Carolina, and Simmons like water, pretty sure. And Red Sergeant drinks lots of strawberry Yoo-hoos."

Donut didn't stop to marvel at Caboose's odd but helpful skills. "Alright, cool, thanks Caboose!" Donut then went over to finish washing the dishes. When he finished, he went back to checking on the soup.

Once Caboose came back, he went to the cabinet under the sink and got some rinse aid for the dishwasher. He primed the water then ran the dishwasher. "Um, Muffin Man?"

"Not now, Caboose," Donut said, as he realized he hadn't put in one of the extra ingredients. 

"Commander Pop'n'Fresh..." the blue soldier said.

Donut finally turned around, and everything was normal. "Hm?"

"There's some sort of... thing! With the pool noodles!" Caboose told him.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"It's Simmons! And Sarge!" the blue whispered, pointing.

Donut slowly turned around, and just as Caboose had said, there were Simmons and Sarge standing in front of him.

"Donut, what the *hell* did you do?" Simmons said.

"Huh? I've been cooking *dinner*? What else-"

Sarge interrupted. "Son, you somehow and miraculously managed to break the piping near Simmons' room; now the whole thing's flooded!"

"Oh. Uh, sorry Simmons. I don't... uh, how though?"

Sarge chuckled. "You tell me, Donut!"

Simmons didn't look too happy, obviously.

"That means," Sarge started. "Oooo, that smells real delicious."

Donut was going to say thank you, and Sarge was going to move on, when Tucker came down from the upstairs. "Donut," he laughed, "Was that you who flooded Simmons' room?"

"Yes," Simmons answered before Donut could.

"Thought so. Dude, could you do that to Carolina or W-"

"Never mind that," Sarge said. He clapped Simmons' shoulder. "Son, you're gonna need somebody to stay with before Lopez and I can fix up the pipes."

Before Simmons (or Donut for that matter) could say anything, Caboose cupped a hand to his mouth and called, "~Grif!~"

- A/N -

First fanfic chapter on here lmao yay

so two things:

1. Sorry if the writing is bad bc I wrote the majority of this at 1 in the morning (last month pfft)

2. The pipes breaking is weird, ik. Yes, that was the point, mainly bc it's Donut and Caboose together and then I couldn't really decide how i wanted to have it work so SINCE it's Donut and Caboose it just magically happened ofc.

ty for reading!