Mishiro

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Mishiro was different from most people. Except for the fact that she wore all black, everyone in their teenage hood and their mothers did that at one point or another. It's a general thing that happens during those years.

Edginess.

Mishiro didn't acted particularly edgy though, she instead resembled an introvert with a interest in people's events and reactions. Her intense depression, however, was expertly masked from me until one day, I saw her crying against a wall of an ally near her house.

I am ashamed to say that I didn't interrupt nor approach her, somehow the situation had made me uncomfortable and I didn't feel it was my place to comment on her state of emotion. I feel like that with most people.
I love talking to people but, I feel as though building long lasting connections with them was a more difficult task. They tend to look good on the outside but, the gritty stuff was always on the back burner, a side thought to the day.

My ex girlfriend, Clover, was like that. She was prickly, cunning, and really charismatic. That's what initially made me fall for her. She talked me into creating YouTube videos for her, which, oddly enough, I started to enjoy more than anything in the world. It's like she somehow picked something she knew I would love just to keep me with her for a little bit longer than I'd like to admit.
She brought talents out of me that I never dreamed of but, it could have never have lasted. Her general disinterested in people and her own community led her down the path of only seeing the numbers on the screen rather than the people themselves.

My channel took a hit when she was out of the picture, as she flamed me online for being 'emotionally abusive.' I tried initially to maintain my imagine, grappling with the thought that I'd never get anywhere if I didn't but, that only seemed to make it worse. Clover used the story and twisted the many times they had argued to her audience and most of them went with her side of the story. I realized than that, it didn't matter how true something was, people will believe what they do no matter what happens.

Some eventually flocked back and some never knew that it happened because I took all the videos with her in it down. That made my channel took a huge hit, I lost over three thousand subs within the span of a few weeks even though I continued to post content. My content, was someone different than the type of energy she added to the videos but, it was seen as being more wholesome which, was a reputation I didn't mind holding.

I didn't worry about it, people come and go in this business, so I continued to not let it get me down and just kept doing what I loved to do, even if my ad revenue decreased significantly ever since Clover's disappearance from it. Ramen noodles continued to be my diet and for the next few months I remained struggling with myself and my channel and with ideas for it.  One day I decided to do a ghost hunting video in the suicide forest and that was somehow the worst and best day I could've chosen.

I met a god in that forest.

He jumps scared my recording and myself for that matter, the video, ended with me running all the way back to my hotel room that I got to come out here. I capitalized on that video quite well and ghost hunting in random locations just became a part of the content I made. It was less editing and it challenged me to come up with a more entertaining narrative to follow. Those videos went over well and a different type of community started to form.

Clover, went on to become a successful twitch streamer and now she constantly makes callous jokes about me chasing ghosts but, sometimes people flock to my channel to see what I do from that alone. I think people were starting to see Clover for herself, the more she streamed, the more she showed her true colors and people started to have questions.
Not that it mattered to me anymore but, I found out about it from a random old fan of mine, who sent me a long apology, saying how he initially believed her lies and now, he's starting to see that she was contracting herself. I still haven't responded to that text.  What really do I even say to that?

That however, is far less interesting than the God I met. His name is Gerovisky and he's someone no one would want to be on the bad side of, helpful towards people he likes but, all of his intentions still seem sinister somehow. Him appearing in this video has given way to some more interesting people in my life to. This little cat girl named Mew, her absentee boyfriend, Lucy, her sister, Pandora, and another just, overall strange cast of characters, that weren't human.

I started featuring them in some videos even though, people called it fake, it still got hits and were seen as just well edited. Which I didn't mind. They became reoccurring characters on my YouTube page and my videos were now being seen as strange but, lighthearted and fun and adventurous from the norms of YouTube.

Mishiro though, when we became closer friends and eventually moved in together, our videos together become the most popular ones of them all. Than a bunch of people started writing fanficiton about us and we read it on a livestream together. We just smile and laugh about it, stumbling over our pick up lines towards each other.
I wondered if we'd eventually would get together but, Mishiro never seemed interested in that, she just became one of my closest friends I could never imagine.

Than I got it eventually.  I understood what I was missing in my social interaction. It was that sense of personality, that sense of someone's self showing, it was the sense of companionship where someone showed me their true colors and not a facade of themselves. I never, felt more comfortable to be myself around someone than with her, and it opened a new side of me to the public as well.

I flourished.

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⏰ Last updated: Jun 12, 2022 ⏰

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