Meeting Patronus | A Severus Snape Love Story

Chapter 6 "Friday"

"The key to your Patronus is focusing on your happiest memory and channeling those feelings through to your wand." Snape says, in his usual professor voice.

"What if you can't think of one?" you ask with a puzzled look on your face.

"You must." Snape says, in a straightforward manner. "It doesn't have to be a life defining moment, the feelings just have to be strong enough. Now, copy my movements. Expecto Patronum."

"Expecto Patronum"  You repeat, awkwardly waving your wand.

"No, no. Like this." Snape says as he grabs your wand hand, moving your hand to the correct movement. You blush at his touch and can't pay attention to the motion as you're too focused on his grip and overwhelmingly attractive side profile.

"[y/n]!" He shouts. "Are you paying attention?" He scolds, annoyed.

"What?" you look up at him in a dazed smile, then you see the scowl on his face, and you focus again at your wand.

"Yes!" You try again. "Expecto Patronum." Nothing happens.

Snape rolls his eyes, but grins at your cute attempt. "You need a better memory." He says.

"Ugh, I agree wholeheartedly." You say, secretly scanning him with your eyes. He seems to get more attractive every single day.

"You'll have to do some soul searching if you really want this to work." He responds.

"Or... I should create some new happy memories." You say, shyly tucking your hair behind your ear.

Severus clears his throat. You've seemed to throw the esteemed professor off his game.

"Again." He instructs.

After about 20 tries, it seems impossible to think of a happy memory, especially when you're put on the spot. You close your eyes and try to think back to one freshest in your mind. Then it hits you. The white boots. You think of its silvery laces and fur cuffs, but most of all you think of Snape's note. Straightforward yet full of care; "Don't fall."

Suddenly, Snape lets out a surprised scoff as a flicker of silvery white light appears. You open your eyes before it fades. You gasp with excitement.

"Good work." Severus says as he smiles down at you. You beam with enthusiasm. "What did you think of?" he asks.

"Nothing..." You say as you grin.

He scoffs, matching a small grin on his face.

Patronus lessons with Severus become the highlight of your week, the thing you look forward to the most. You tell the twins that you're struggling in potions and that Snape is giving you extra work to make up for it. They groan, wanting you to spend the start of the weekend with them instead, but you make it up to them by sneaking off to the woods to smoke joints on Saturdays.

You know that forming a Patronus takes time and many never even get to a corporeal form, but this doesn't stop you from growing impatient. You start to think that maybe you haven't lived long enough to have a happy memory sufficiently strong to achieve it. It feels unfair, in a way, like there's a block in your brain. All you can think of is tragedy when asked to think about happiness. You pout at the thought of Severus having lived a whole life before you. Years of memories under his belt that he can draw on. This would always put him at an advantage. But even if you're no closer to forming your Patronus, time with Severus is time well spent. Your admiration for him gets stronger every day, and your biggest wish is that he could feel the same about you.

You're torturing yourself, hoping for something that will probably never come to fruition. Severus is beyond you. He needs a woman with age and experience, someone who's seen the world like he has. Someone who won't hold him back with her naivety and ignorance. Someone more patient than you, more mature than you, more... beautiful. You sigh. You'd be playing catch up your whole life trying to be on his level.