Shrek x Obama

Meeting bae 😫✨

(SHREK'S POV)

I woke up on my cold hard bed to the smell of something burning, groaning as i get up to check what it was, as i walked down the stairs i could hear giggling with my absolutely amazing ears ( ? ) I have on my head. Walking down my stairs to see a  fire "oh okay then" i say as my brain takes a second to process what I'm seeing . . . "WHAG THE FAWK" i scream as my brain finally rebooted, i ferociously run out of the house of course not before taking my 7 day stash of cheerios and getting the fuck out of the infamous tree stump. Finally getting out of the 'house' i set down my 774839573 boxes of cheerios and pulled out my nokia 3310 and called Satan.

After the phone call was done i decided to get into my highlighter yellow Vauxhall Viva and drove to the closet pizzeria to me. Getting out my car i walk into the fine establishment, pushing the door open i hear something chime looking back it was a bell "huh kewl" i say walking up to a tired looking woman "welcome to mamarias pizzeria and abortion service, your loss is in our sauce, how can i help your today" she says batting her eyelashes, looking me up and down, "I'll have a large cheese pizza with the 'special sauce' please" i say disgusted at her "coming right up sir" she says as she walks to the kitchen. Deciding to sit down i pick booth number 5 and as i sit down i see something or should i say someone that makes me loose my breath.

(OBAMAS POV)

Waking up in the White House next to  my shitty wife. I  huffed and puffed the da big bad wolf as i saw her and got out of bed and went down the stairs to get a bowl of cheerios. As i munched down on the cheerios my rat of a wife came down the stairs "eLlO hUbaNd" my 'wife' says, "ugh" i reply "mAkE mE breAkFAsT, NoW" she says "I'm done with your shit" i say reaching for the closest knife i could and stabbed her in the chest 46 times and 12 times in the arms and legs "aha... haha. . . HAHAHAHAHAHA" i laugh as i hear her breathing get slow and her screams quiet down. Getting up i spit on her and walk away to get showered, getting dressed i decided to burn someone's house down because I'm an absolute menace to Society.

Getting in my lime green AMC pacer and went to look around to find the unlucky person that's getting the house burned down by the 44th U.S. president. After looking around for awhile i found nothing so i decided to just go into the woods to calm down, and luckily enough i found a- tree stump? "Oh well... this will work i guess" i say as i grab the lighter fluid and pored it everywhere and grabbed a lighter and tossed it over to the liquid . . . I watched as the flames dance around the tree stump. I giggled and walked away, after that i went to mamarias pizzaria "hello welcome to mamarias pizza and abortion service your mistake is in our cake" she says "your sell cake?" i ask sceptically
"... no just couldn't think of anything else" she says... right "anyways what would you like mr..." she says "Obama" i say  "Like the president... OMG MR. OBAMA WHATS YOUR LAST NAME!" She says
"... kill me" i whisper to nobody "what" she says "nothing, anyways i would like a pepperoni pizza with toe nails" i tell her "yes, will that be all mr. President" she says "yes." I say to her as i go sit down and table 4, as soon as i sit down i see someone who takes my breath away...

627 words

(Sorry for all the spelling mistakes)