Just a Little Bit Broken

Chapter 4

After that mission, things seemed to fly by. Between missions, training, and her independent studies from the temple, she hardly had time to eat, much less keep up with what was happening around her. On more than one occasion, she had literally ran into a clone in the halls as she was racing between her quarters to the training hall.

Master Krell had been harder than ever on her, constantly throwing random Form III block or a Form IV kick to her training schedule, and effectively keeping her on her toes. She no longer questioned his strange desire to help her learn bits and pieces of every form, she had learned her lesson there.

But sometimes she just wished for a simple break. Just a moment in between classes or training or missions where she could just relax, and talk to someone. After Captain CT-5820 died, she had decided that Master Krell was perhaps right.

It would be better for her if she just stayed away. She couldn't afford distractions. Not in a war. Not when The Republic was counting on her.

And she couldn't afford anymore breakdowns. Once the hysteria and sleep had passed from her that awful night, she had been beyond embarrassed to find that she had shown weakness in front of the clones she was commanding. If Master Krell had found out she would be up to her neck in harsh words, paperwork, and bruises from incompletable training sessions. It didn't help that the clones also seemed to remember it quite clearly as well.

Luckily most of them seemed to not particularly care. Whenever they glanced at her, it was still with that impassive look that all clones seemed to have. It had been months, and Ahsoka was beginning to think that they had forgotten. It was only one that always looked at her differently.

The one that had carried her.

Every time she caught his eye or he had seen her, she could feel a wild swirl of emotions rising in both of them. Though his tended to be more of concern and contemplation, hers were more of annoyance and discomfort.

This would lead to her glaring at him, then him grinning the most stupid grin she had ever seen once he realized he had been caught. There wasn't much else she could do without revealing to someone what had happened.

(And while she would never admit it... his smiles did tend to make the war more bearable)

So instead she focused on other things, like surviving this war. Which was proving to be particularly difficult at the moment.

"Take cover!" She screamed as a bomb dropped at the base of her feet.

With strength that was quickly seeping out of her body, she used the force, launching the grenade back towards the droids while launching herself back toward the clones' barricade, where she hoped most of her forces were.

It would be quite difficult to win this battle if half her troops got caught in a blast.

As she rolled into the trench that was assembled in mere hours, she sheathed her sabers and stopped.

Her lungs expanded till they couldn't possibly take any more air. The explosions and shouts drifted away for a moment. But a moment was all she needed. Then she slowly let it out, counting the seconds the air took to leave her body, and counting the last moments of peace before the rush of battle intruded her senses once again.

"Commander!" She heard a shout.

She looked over and saw the new captain rushing over to her. Was he their 3rd? Or was he the 4th? She couldn't remember at this point.

"What is it Captain?" She didn't even have the energy to list out his number. Thankfully, he didn't seem to take any offense.

"Scouts spotted an opening just west of us. If we go now we can make it through and attack them from behind."