friends // a newtmas one shot

friends

thomas had been thinking a lot.

and he wasn't thinking about just anything, no, he was thinking about newt.

it seemed to be the one thing that was constantly on his mind. he was there morning, noon, and night. it had been that way for months. which did seem to annoy him, but more often then not, it would confuse him.

newt and thomas were best friends, and they had been, ever since the boys could remember. they'd played on the school playground together in preschool, chasing each other around constantly and giggling. they had always been there to push one another on the swings at the park from age six. they had sleepovers in 3rd grade where they'd pull pranks on thomas' sister. they sat next to each other everyday during lunch at age 10. they remained best friends in middle school when they met new people such as alby and minho and gally. they'd been through arguments, silly and serious. they knew each other's secrets but never told another soul. they went to the same university and even made sure to live in the same apartment building. they always hugged longer than necessary. newt would kiss thomas on the cheek occasionally before bed and visa versa. they would sleep in each other's beds more often then they slept in their own beds. one would always take care of the other when they were to get ill. they knew each other inside and out and, well, they were always there for each other.

they were great friends.

but these were the thoughts that would haunt thomas and that's what confused him.

why the hell would he constantly think about anything and everything that had to do with newt? why would these things bug him to begin with? why would he think about his friend's gestures or the lingering kisses he place on his cheek from time to time? thomas figured they were platonic gestures and newt meant nothing more from it.

thinking that way was a dangerous line to cross but he couldn't stop no matter how much he wanted to.

it all started almost a year before, with the occasional glances during the classes they shared together. it was only a couple glances. although, that turned into admiring newt's features subconsciously. then it turned into loving the way newt laughed and memorizing the way he smiled. it sounded stupid to him, but he even dreamt about him.

thomas tried his absolutely hardest to never give it a second thought.

though that was clearly impossible especially since about a week prior.

newt, thomas, and many other friends decided to get drunk. they all drank and drank in newt's living room to forget the real world, spare thomas, who didn't have a reason to get wasted. he just got little tipsy.

newt seemed like an entirely different person while drunk. newt was practically on top of thomas the entire night. thomas tried to convince himself it was just the alcohol in their systems.

that night they did properly cuddle, pressed against each other beneath newts covers. newt would kiss the corner of thomas' lips (and his neck) making thomas' skin heat up and his heart race, wishing newt would continue. that was when thomas started thinking about newt and all the things they could be if they tried.

he really enjoyed having their bodies touching together and he liked the way newt wrapped his arms around him.

but they were friends and nothing more. it was wrong to think about his friend like that. he couldn't really have feelings for his best friend. he tried to convince himself newt didn't matter to him like that.

it was weird and dumb (in his opinion) how his own thoughts conflicted him so much and how often he'd contradict himself.

after all the days he'd spend searching for an answer, thomas was only left with an endless void of confusion.