Au Revoir

03

My hands were trembling while I reached for his arm that it seems to be put in the fridge for days, as pale as a block of ice, stiff as a stone, and cold as snow.

My mind doesn't want to accept and process what happened but my eyes and my heart broke immediately into a weep as I look at him. I can no longer feel the bright life he has in his body. I can no longer see how he's going to open his eyes and look at his granddaughter and greet her good morning every day.

His no longer gonna open those eyes of his. I can no longer be with him. I am now all alone. All the people that are so dear to me left me. Life isn't life without a Family. God took them away from me. How can I now continue my life if all those people who are my reasons to keep going on in life were now all gone?

"Lolo...!"

Was the only thing my mouth got to say then a series of tears came racing down my cheeks. Seconds later, I was already crying all my heart out because of the grief that I had felt at that moment while hugging the figure of the person who was there from the beginning of my life until I decided to destroy it.

He's always been the person who shows unconditional love to his granddaughter. Loud cries echo inside every corner of the spacious house telling me that I am now all alone and I got no one to take care of and love me. Thinking of that just made me weep more and forcefully pressed myself beside his body not wanting to leave him.

The endless flowing of tears came down my face as the scorching pain continues to grow and grow into my system not caring about how pathetic I now looked. The pain of loss is never been more painful than any other outcries in life.

"Hey, are you okay?"

I was suddenly interrupted by the tap of a muscular yet soft gentle hand on my shoulder. Cutting me off in remembering the day I lost my grandfather, to the day that shook my broken world. Leaving me again in a state where my only choice is to weep my emotions out until I can no longer see the things around me because of the swollen eyes and the heavy weight of my head until I sleep with my pillow damp with tears. The sorrow, soreness, and loneliness are all piled up into one of my delicate, still wrecked being.

It was already afternoon almost coming to dusk and windy weather mildly flying the tips of my hair. Looking around is a place, planted with different varieties of yellow flowers pushing up through the thick green grass being swayed by the warm running of the wind. Thousands of grey marble-like monuments were bore from it.

Beside me is a man with a face like an artist.

Dark, chocolate, brown eyes gazing down at me, pointy nose and has a red pouty kissable lips. Wearing a blue polo shirt partnered with black jeans on his muscular manly long legs. Arms wrapped around my waist with a genuine smile plastered on his face.

There I realized I was in a cemetery, and beside me is the person I never expected to vow and make promises in front of the most divine being, and now my husband, Jake.

"You're spacing out again. What are you thinking?"

He asked. Curiosity was visible in his eyes, intently looking at me.

I remember that after a year of Lolo's burial, I had decided to follow Lolo's last advice before that day. I did go out from my own lonely, non concrete, blue world, and then started to live with the other people's reality, the harsh, cruel, painful, yet wonderful, amazing reality of life.

I had found a job in a small company as a facility supervisor, met new people, and later made friends with them. Though it was not easy at first, I eventually succeeded.

Through the course of embracing the world, I met my husband, Jake.