SCRIPTURIENT REVIEWS | OPEN

❄️ FRAGMENTED LIES | VICTORIA ❄️

Reviewed by: CroodsGirl

Book Title: Fragmented Lies

Author: MinniMox

Title: 4/5

​While I don't know the title's significance just yet, I have a vague idea of what it is. At first glance, it does not really give me a mystery-like vibe, but definitely a romance one. That aside, it's definitely unique and original. It instantly made me interested in what I was about to get into.

Cover: 3/5

​In my opinion, I think the cover can be improved a little. I'm placing your book under the romance/mystery genres. I would like to see these two genres combined on the cover. Not many people looking at the cover will guess it's a mystery novel, which may mislead them. Now, if this is your intention, it's no big deal. I'm no expert when it comes to designing, but I don't think it will hurt if you visit a few graphic shops here on Wattpad and see what they come up with. You do not have to change your cover. I'm not saying that at all. I just think it would be a fun experiment for you to try. I definitely felt the intimacy between the two main characters on the cover; I just did not feel the mystery. That was my only thing about it. Regardless, it looks really good!

Blurb: 9/10

​The blurb is awesome, but I did take one little point off for a grammar issue I noticed. With more experienced authors like you, I need to get picky. The issue is in the first paragraph when you say "Her life plans were torn apart without a reason why, she was left to mourn the love of her life and pick up the pieces of a life she'd made plans for." A reason why and she was left to mourn are two, different sentences, so just put a comma between "why" and "she". That's all you have to do.

​Other than that mild hiccup, you do a great job introducing us to the main character and conflict, which is what a blurb is supposed to do. I especially love the part where you bring up the letters and messages. It got me saying, "Oh, yes! This is going to be a mystery novel!" The essence of both the mystery and romance are very prevalent in the blurb; the introduction to the main character and conflict is picture perfect, so no wonder you got a near-perfect score here. Great blurb! Just fix the minor grammar issue, and you will be good to go.

Plot: 7/10

​I really enjoy the plot of this story. There are some familiarities with it compared to other mystery/romance books, but that doesn't matter at all. What matters is that you took that cliché and put your own, unique twist on it, which is what I'm looking for when it comes to all the cliché books on Wattpad. Throughout the first five chapters, we learn a lot about our protagonist, Winter, and how her boyfriend's "murder" has tortured her for five years. You do a great job showcasing her grief and surprise when she finds her lover is "alive".

The plot moves at a steady pace. At this point, I don't see too many flaws with it. There are a few instances when the jumps back in time are a little confusing, but that's more in the first chapter or so. A few more context clues will benefit you here, when you're jumping back in time. I do like how you start each chapter with Winter telling us a little about herself, but I feel that you sometimes get lost in the details. You can just as much "show", as you can "tell". This is a flaw I saw compared to My Blossoming Redemption. In that book, you show us who the character is through their actions; you don't tell us. I think this spark was missing from this piece, but knowing you, you will easily go back and correct that when you edit it again.

At the same time, I do enjoy how Winter constantly talks about death and what she's learned about grief. I can relate to her a lot, in terms of my older brother's murder. That was the part of the plot that I really enjoyed, because it really made me feel like I wasn't the only person who has lost somebody they love so unexpectedly, so kudos to you, author! Like any other of your books, you have amazing plots. I would just like to see this one fleshed out a bit more with smoother transitions, more figurative language, and a little more showing. Other than that, you're on the right track!