Hongjoong couldn't sleep.
He went to the roof as the night expanded above, grey streaking the black sky as a cold wind pushed through the material of his coat and pajamas to tear at his skin.
Hongjoong couldn't sleep.
And he wasn't sure he'd ever be able to again.
Every time he closed his eyes, it was just Seonghwa.
Seonghwa in the club, nervous and unsure;
Seonghwa kissing him, almost falling off his stool;
Seonghwa saying he'd done stuff to himself before;
Seonghwa throwing his head back as Hongjoong pushed in for the first time;
Seonghwa's fingers wrapped around the back of his neck, tugging through strands of his hair;
Seonghwa with his legs around Hongjoong's waist;
Seonghwa straddling him;
Seonghwa's lips around him;
Seonghwa swallowing;
Seonghwa mewling;
Seonghwa asking him to bite him;
Just, Seonghwa.
Looking back on all the nights Hongjoong had spent at that stupid club, it was too easy to remove the mask in his mind, see everything for what it really was, a strange mix of heat and sadness twisting in his gut.
Because he'd done that with Seonghwa, but he really shouldn't have.
Other things were starting to click too.
Like Seonghwa's limp the day after their first meeting.
Hongjoong closed his eyes tight at that.
He'd done that to him.
Or that night they ran into each other at the studio.
Or that day when Jongho said Seonghwa had cried all night.
It was later that week that Seonghwa told Hongjoong about the asshole at the club, wasn't it?
Everything was starting to make sense and each new revelation seemed to steal Hongjoong's air from him.
Because there was also the fact that Seonghwa had been so weird lately.
And then there was that dream the younger had talked to him about.
Hindsight was really something else.
Hongjoong felt like an idiot for not putting it together sooner.
It was never about wearing pink or wearing black.
Seonghwa had been talking about being gay.
Who would have thought that Seonghwa was harboring the same fears that Hongjoong felt about getting caught and ruining everything?
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↱FORBIDDEN COLORS↲ ⇾seongjoong⇽
Fanfictionforbidden colors: composed of pairs of hues whose light frequencies automatically cancel each other out in the human eye, they're supposed to be impossible to see simultaneously. hongjoong is coming to terms with his crush. seonghwa is trying to com...
