Coming out

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"Mom and dad, I'm a lesbian" I finally spit out those words, I've been planning this for such a long time. "I just had to tell you" I added, they were silent for a moment, my grandma was in the sofa pretending she hadn't heard anything, my mom looked confused, as if she was thinking this through, my father took a sit and had a dull look on his face, but as soon as I saw my mom's look, she was clearly not fine with it and that's when I knew, this was going to end badly, not like I wanted for it to go, I had been planning this moment for years now, I hoped my parents would tell me it was okay, they were fine with it, and that they would be the kind of parents that I could talk to about my feelings, my crushes or just ask me about my future girlfriend or partner, that they would try to introduce me to some of their friend's daughters or something, but I was such a foolish child, now I know that they are somethings that should be kept as secrets.

And there was only three seconds of peace after I told them, after those three seconds of silence, my mom looked at me straight in the eye and she started to spit out her words too, "how you dare do this to us?" she said in a loud angry tone, my father stood in silence, he wouldn't even look me in the eye, I should have hidden it, that's when I knew that these feelings weren't supposed to be there, maybe I should have repressed them, ignored them, I mean I have tried to that for the past 16 years and it worked, nobody had a clue about it, so why did I say it, I wish I could just go to the past, or just change this about myself. "I don't know what to do with this information, I mean we can't be okay with this kind of behavior, you aren't like this, who put this idea into your head?" my mom said, I had never looked at her like this before, I never thought I will, which hurt even more and before I realized it, tears were running down my cheeks, they felt cold and bitter and useless, I shouldn't have been this way, I mean why me, I mean why out of everybody in this family, I had to be the one who turned out to be lesbian, why couldn't it be anyone else, its most likely my fault, maybe I just forced myself into being this way, maybe I don't even like girls, I may have made it up, at least that's what I hope.

"I'm so sorry" I cried, "I'm really sorry, I never wanted to turn out this way and nobody convinced me into this, I promise, but please forgive me" I added, with tears all over my face, "How am I supposed to believe that, you have lied to us, you have hidden information to us, that is not the kind of daughter we tried and clearly failed to raise" she screamed at me. I felt dizzy, I felt like I was going to fall to the ground, but in a sudden moment, I felt a hand on my shoulder "Hey, let's calm down, don't worry Melinda, I will talk her out of this, don't worry at all" My grandma said, "How are you planning to do that?' My mom said looking at my grandma, "don't worry about it, I know how to handle it". And my grandma moved her hand from my shoulder to my hand and took me to my room. My room was a quite small, with light pink walls and a beautiful white bed. My grandma was a very tall and classy lady, she looked very young for her age, at least for what I thought was her age, she has never shared that information to me. She always wore pastel colors, a silver necklace and matching bracelets, and a ring made out of a thick pink threat on her ring finger.

She told me to sit on the corner of the bed, she took my chair and placed it next to me. Then she took out her light pink handkerchief, that she always had with herself, and try to dry my tears up

"My dear Alice, could you try to control the crying, just for a while" she said softly.

"Yes I can grandma" I said slowly, while I let her dry my tears.

"That's great, dear Alice, will you let me tell you a story" she said.

I was confused, why would she tell me a story at this moment, it truly made no sense but still I replied "Okay, grandma".

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