Sympathy

Nick Nelson had fallen a lot over the years. Usually, due to a massive rugby lad plowing him down mid-game. Those tackles had hurt, but they never kept Nick down too long. He was always able to pull himself up and get right back into the game. Like most boys, Nick had also gone through a clumsy spout right around puberty. His feet grew faster than the rest of his body, and more than once he found himself face down on the ground after tripping over them. At this point, he was pretty used to falling.

However, none of those could have prepared Nick for his most recent fall. It was harder, faster, and more jarring than any tackle he ever had endured on the rugby pitch, or stumble he had taken down a flight of stairs during those awkward years. This fall felt like it was consuming him, holding him down leaving him with no possible way of getting back up. But come to think of it Nick didn't know if he even wanted to get up. Not when the reason that he had fallen in the first place was his best friend. The one person who knew him better than anyone else. The person who didn't just see him as the school's rugby king, but instead saw him for him. The same boy who walked around school looking small and scared, but who looked like the embodiment of sunshine when he was alone with Nick. Yes, Nick had fallen for Charlie Spring harder than he had ever fallen before, but he was okay with it.

Nick realized his feelings for Charlie a couple of weeks ago. He had always known there was something different about Charlie, but it took him a bit to realize what it was. It was actually his mum who helped to put his feelings into words. Charlie had come round his house one Saturday to meet his dog, Nellie. The pair had spent hours playing video games in Nick's room, well, to be honest, it was more like hours of Nick losing and Charlie grinning from ear to ear every time 'First Place' flashed on his side of the screen. Nick had always been a bit competitive, but he realized that he would gladly lose to Charlie for the rest of his life if it meant that he got to see more of that smile. When the two had discovered that it had begun to snow they had quickly changed into the warmest clothes Nick could find, before bounding out into the backyard with Nellie. The whole time Nick had felt like he was flying, and the one thing that seemed to be anchoring him to the ground was Charlie. Nick had never felt so free, so at ease, and so comfortable with another person. However, at the same time, he couldn't ignore the knot that formed in his stomach every time the drummer shot him one of his earth-shattering smiles. Or the sparks that pop and sizzled through his entire body wherever Charlie's skin met his. Nick was convinced that those little fireworks must actually be visible at this point with how strong they were.

After Charlie left that day Nick's mom had mentioned that she had never seen him act so himself around one of his mates. From that moment on everything in Nick's brain sort of just slotted into place and made more sense. It didn't mean that it wasn't scary for Nick, because god it was literally terrifying, but something about his first boy crush being on Charlie helped to calm his fears just slightly. Since then he had spent most of his nights surfing YouTube and TikTok trying to consume as much content as possible about who he might be.

Nick felt a sort of determination that he never felt before. He had no idea what he was yet, or if he would ever be able to label himself, but he knew that he wanted to be with Charlie. He also was determined to figure himself out before he took any further steps with the younger boy. Part of him felt silly for this. He was almost positive that Charlie would be able to help him through this. The younger boy had already been on this journey. He knew what it was like to have these feelings and question who you are. He could help to answer the millions of questions that Nick had, far better than any answer Nick might find on google. But Nick knew that he needed to do this on his own, not only for himself but for Charlie too.

It was only a couple of months ago that Nick had broken up the incident between Charlie and that piece of shit Ben. Ben had been so embarrassed about his relationship with Charlie, that he made him hide it from everyone, including Charlie's best friends. Nick understood Ben not wanting to come out right now, especially since they were in the same friend group, that consisted of some major twats like Harry, but that didn't make what he did to Charlie okay. Ben had done everything in his power to crush Charlie's self-esteem, to make him the perfect puppet that he could use whenever he felt so inclined. Nick refused to do that to Charlie. He knew he wouldn't be ready to shout their relationship from the rooftops when and if Charlie agreed to be with him, but he wanted them to at least be able to tell the people that were important to them. Charlie deserved someone who was proud to be with him.