What We Once Had

Chapter 4

"Mrs Grant, it's been a while." she greeted back.

"It has indeed, I hope you've been well," she replied, kindly easing Natalie's nervous energy slightly as she did her best to ignore Adam's piercing curious gaze.

"I have." she lied and judging by how Mrs Grant's smile tightened, she knew but said none of it.

It was a difficult couple of years for everyone, even her.

"Good, I hope I get the chance to see you more from now on," she said sending Adam to her side.

Natalie could only smile back in reply and bid her goodbye with Adam who followed her silently, obedient but no less awkward.

Once they reached the car, Natalie simply opened the door and let Adam climb in before driving off in complete silence.

Parked up in front of the house, Natalie hesitated nervously. Going back to this house with Martin in it was one thing, but going back while he wasn't there was different.

Taking a few calming breaths, she dug up the house keys she had kept hidden in the glove box and stepped out to let Adam out.

Letting him run ahead of her, she took a moment to just stare at the big gates before her.

How could she even walk in like she was still allowed to?

"Mommy?" called Adam hesitantly his curious gaze ever so piercing as she snapped out of her dilemma.

Snapping to him surprised at the way he called her; it took her a moment to calm her racing heart and respond.

"O-Oh," she said blankly. "sorry." she breathed out moving to unlock the gate.

Once the gate opened, Adam ran ahead, and she took another breath as she slowly but surely followed.

Holding the keys, she hesitated for a minute before slowly slotting in the key and turning it as if opening a precious treasure.

"Uh," she began once Adam was in. "go do your homework or play, your dad will be back soon."

Nodding, Adam ran off leaving her standing at the entrance.

He was a pretty silent and obedient child which wasn't always the case, but she could only blame herself for that.

Knowing she couldn't stay there, she eventually headed slowly to the living room and sat carefully as if she didn't wish to imprint her presence.

I should call Martin to let him know where home, she thought taking her phone out with such shaking hands that made it hard for her to call.

"Natalie, hey, did everything go alright?" asked Martin as soon as he picked up.

"Uh, yeah, it was fine."

Martin breathed out relieved. "Oh, thank you, I just finished work, so I'll be back soon."

"Alright," she said hanging up and breathing out.

Come on Natalie, she scolded. This shouldn't be so hard, everyone else managed to go forward normally, only I keep running. Why is that? Is it because I'm weak? Selfish? Can anyone tell me?

Knowing no one could, she could only sigh and space out as she waited.

"I'm home!" called Martin appearing in the living room a few moments later startling Natalie.

Had so much time passed already!? How could she just space out like!? What if something had happened!? If anything had happened..., oh no, if something happened to Adam because of her she would never forgive herself, she had hurt him enough.