That One Time We Kissed // Bishova College AU

Old Habits Die Hard

"She did what?" Carol asked, sitting aside her roommate on the downturned bed of her pickup truck in a Target parking lot. The street lights flickered on in the newly fallen dusk, and the blonde tugged on her varsity jacket to fend off the cold. "You're gonna have to repeat all of that."

"We drove back from my dad's, right?" Kate said, manic and stressed. "And I thought it went great! My dad loved her, we had dinner... she did step out for air that night, I guess. But I thought we were cool, you know? She was opening up finally, she met my parents. I don't know, Carol."

"So what's the bad news? That sounds like a good Thanksgiving break to me."

"She didn't talk the whole way home, and I haven't heard from her since we got back on Saturday."

"What day is today, again? I didn't have class and time no longer has meaning."

"It's Monday, Danvers."

"Shit. I did have class."

"That's not the point!" Kate pleaded, frowning. "I don't know what I did wrong."

"Have you asked her?"

"Not directly, no. I don't want to seem stupid and not know what to apologize for."

"Maybe you didn't do anything wrong," Carol shrugged, swinging her legs. "Not directly, anyway. Or not on purpose. You did spend like, four days straight with each other. Maybe she just needs space."

"Yeah, and that's fine, I just wish she wouldn't go radio silent. It worries me, you know? I don't want her to shut me out again."

"As much as I appreciate this heart to heart, Bishop, you should be telling her this."

"I know, I know. But you're a good sounding board." Kate playfully punched Carol's upper arm. "How'd your break go, anyway?"

"It was nice. Spent it with Maria's family, like usual. So, being in Yelena's position, don't blame her if she needs to recharge. I love my woman, but being the odd one out is never easy, and Yelena had to do it twice."

Kate nodded thoughtfully, biting her lip. She ached to be with Yelena, to take care of her, listen to her, let her know it's okay to be vulnerable. Kate felt the blonde had a breakthrough with talking about her past, her experiences as a teen, and she couldn't imagine the gambit of emotions Yelena must be feeling with the possible reemergence of Pepper in her life, a wound that had probably long since healed. It killed Kate to think Yelena may be suffering alone, as she was unfortunately so accustomed to, but Yelena deserved space just as much as support, and all Kate could do was wait.

"She'll come around," Carol affirmed, bumping Kate's shoulder. "Well, hopefully."

-

Yelena woke from her depression nap with a groggy yawn, dismayed to see it was already dark out. She checked her phone, heart tightening at another text from Kate.

I won't spam you anymore, but you know I'm here 💞

With a guilty sigh, Yelena swung her legs over the side of her bed, massaging her temples. She hoped a couple days away from Kate would clear her mind, give her the opportunity to reflect, but the sorority house was just as loud, and prep for the Christmas formal sent the sisters into chaos.

As president, Yelena was expected to handle most of the preparations, but this week, she simply could not. She offloaded most of the work onto Wanda, who was surprisingly sympathetic when she wanted to be, and never said no to more control. So, with her responsibilities handled, Yelena could sulk and think all she liked, or at least, all she could over the seemingly constant blaring music in the Tri Delta house.

Despite the early December night and the cold that accompanied it, Yelena decided she needed a walk. Rolling out of bed, she opened her closet, stopping herself from subconsciously choosing the black hoodie and instead opting for the pink one. Pulling the hood up, she snuck down the stairs and out the front door into the relative quiet of a night on campus.

She had to deliberately slow herself down, stop walking so rapidly as if this was a chore. This was an opportunity, and she had to face a few demons before they caught up to her.

What to do with Kate was the glaring question, and one she did not know how to begin to answer, so she did what sorority girls do when mulling over a significant other: she made a pros and cons list.

"Okay, pros," she mumbled to herself, hands stuffed in her front hoodie pocket. "She's got a family, she's smart, she's caring, she skates, she's really hot." Yelena kicked a stray pebble on the sidewalk. "She loves me. Oh fuck, she loves me..."

The brunette had not said it herself, but the feeling was pretty clear. You don't take a woman whom you have neutral feelings for to meet your parents on Thanksgiving, especially so soon.

"Now cons." She walked a little faster, mind racing. "Neurotic, nit picky mom, smothering father, she's not very ambitious, wants a cozy domestic life I could never give her..." she sighed again. "Oh, Kate Bishop, what are you doing to me?"

The last thing Yelena wanted to do was break Kate's heart, but it's not like it was the blonde's fault Kate fell so quickly. Kate knew what she signed up for- a flimsy, flirtatious sorority girl with a reputation for flings. Kate really should have seen this coming, Yelena rationalized to herself. This wasn't her game, long term relationships, never had been, and now Yelena really saw why. Nothing ever lasted, no one ever stayed.

Old habits die hard, she thought to herself, scoffing at the thought that she could be anything different. That she deserved anything different. She found a good thing, a really good thing, gifted into the palm of her hand, and she had the gall to fuck it up.

Maybe she should break it off with Kate. Maybe she shouldn't even bother meeting Pepper. It would probably just bring more heartbreak later, anyway. Yelena plopped down on the sidewalk, legs giving out. Maybe she should just lay here. Maybe she really should break it off. Maybe...

"You shouldn't love me, Kate Bishop," the blonde mumbled, wiping her eyes. "I'm not worth it."

____________________________
I blame this more angsty turn on me listening to pheobe bridgers while I write. I hope you enjoy