Side Effects

For some reason, he couldn't shake the thought. It was constantly lingering in the back of his head, when he hung out with Uraraka, Iida, Todoroki, or anyone who aligned themself with the quote on quote, "Dekusquad." Midoriya didn't understand how it even happened, why would anyone name a group of people after him? Or simply why did they have to use Deku? The Bakusquad goes by Kacchan's last name, and yeah, Deku sounds better than Midori, but he's still pretty iffy on the name.

Izuku sighed as he leaned against the edge of his bed, staring out his balcony, the third floor was the best place he would have asked for his room to be put, it was in the general middle and not too far from the ground but also not too far away. He could easily use the staircase to get to the roof or just climb the balconies if he got bored or locked from the stairs. Aizawa had caught him a few times, sitting on the roof, staring at the stars, yearning for the ground. It wasn't healthy, he knew that, but he wasn't gonna tell anyone. If it came out that Class 1-A's "Sunshine boy" wanted nothing to do with life, everything would change.

He was better, and he knew it wasn't gonna last forever but he didn't expect it to hit like a truck. One moment, he's sitting with Eri, happily showing her how to make Caramel Apples, and the next he just wants to curl up in bed. She had said something his brain registered but his ears hadn't. Whatever caused this is completely unknown to him, and that was a dangerous game of Russian roulette he didn't wanna be a part of.

Everything started to just happen in a blink of an eye after that, it was blurry and he wasn't aware of anything. He knew he did this, his body did this, but it wasn't truly him. He rubbed his temple, trying to remove the growing headache as he tried to focus on the stars. They seemed to blink and flash, some would fade into the darkness and disappear only to reappear moments later. They danced in chains and dug into the sky as it got louder.

Midoriya moved to his feet, restless as he wandered his room. His pacing was a go-to fidget when he wasn't sure what to do. In the last two weeks, his brain has turned every moment into a learning situation. Pay attention! Show them you're listening! You are useless when you can not help others! It was a constant pounding that threatened to burst at the littlest shift. Walking to the training fields had been enough for him to realize just how close he was to losing it.

He had been dissociating as they walked, all he remembered was suddenly waking up to having her tapping his shoulder, worried expression clear and untamed as she spoke. "Midoriya? You with me?" He blinked a bit as she spoke and simply nodded his head with a smile plastered across his face.

"I'm here Momo, sorry I zoned out there for a minute." He responded with a little chuckle. Izuku knew it was fake, but she didn't seem to notice it as he followed her. In the end, he sprained his ankle, he'd dissociated again in the fight, not even reacting to the pain.

He shook his head as he continued to pace, basically burning a hole in the wood floor as he moved. His eyes glazed to the connecting bathroom, he had a medicine cabinet, everyone had one so what made him special? He had diagnosed medication that could easily be used for what he wants it for, not its intended purpose. He leaned over the sink noticing the water that dripped down, how long had he been crying? His hands started to wipe the tears away but more continued to fall as he continued to try and get them to stop.

He wanted to stop all of it, crying was a sign something was wrong with him, and he wasn't allowed to cry anymore. All Might didn't want him to cry anymore, he had to keep that promise, even if he couldn't handle it. He had started to shake a little, moving from leaning into the sink to sitting on the floor leaning against the door. His line of sight moved to the black band around his wrist, a safety precaution he was forced to wear. It had a tracker and something to track his heart rate. After causing so much trouble Aizawa had forced him to wear it for his own safety. He didn't fight it, no reason to, since the black-haired pro would have added it to his hero costume and his uniform.