I haven't updated anything in a while so I'm very sorry
...start of vent...read at your own risk please don't judge me...
I love my friends but when they do shit like faking death when they are suicidal I hate it I hate it so much that I want to go to my room and scream and cry I don't find it funny when they pretend to kill themselves that just makes me want to sob and when then fake it and go offline that makes it even worse my mental health is slowly going away due to my friends idk if I should do something about it or what because I love my friends but it hurts so much when that happens I dont want to lose them they frickin joke about death when I don't want them to it hurts a lot I know I'm the mentally ok one in the group and that I don't fit in but man it frickin hurts when they know how much pain your in and they just don't give a heck yes they're more mentally ill than me but that doesn't mean that I'm not either I've been called toxic and I know what it's like to be in pain yes I have a father yes I have a mother yes I have a loving family but that doesn't mean my family doesn't have flaws every family has flaws we all know this even if I do have parents that love me it's difficult if they are apart it's painful when they are sperated at least it's better than them arguing 24/7 although they keep it together infront of my family you can say I've been abused but u can't blame the kid he's frickin 8 he grew up with his family separated hes still growing up he's has a different attention span than my whole family so I know that he needs help I help him I listen to him when he wants to tell a story I listen when he talks about something he's passionate about and I love every bit of his annoying butt even if he hurts me on occasion I'm fine with it but when my friends do that I hate it and my lover I don't even know if he loves me anymore he barely talks to me anymore and it hurts so much I get that he's busy and stuff like but it hurts because I miss him I miss his annoying butt I miss his chaotic nature I just miss him in general
.... End of vent ...
