rain is always gonna come

step four: manage

Yelena looked over her things. It was all packed into two suitcases and Fanny's leash sat on the kitchen table, ready to go.

Her stomach wouldn't stop twisting the longer she waited, but she knew she had to wait regardless. She wasn't going to just leave Kate without any explanation.

Her heart broke a little more when she saw Lucky sitting patiently on the couch, an anticipatory look on his face. Normally when their bags were packed, it meant he was going to see Grills.

"Not this time, buddy," she whispered, rocking on her heels a little bit. She should've been sitting down, but she couldn't stay still.

Everything was shaking in one way or another and she couldn't do anything to fix it, only stressing her out more. She just wanted Kate to get home so she could go to Natasha's and make everything a problem for another day.

Finally, the door clicked as it unlocked and opened, revealing a tired Kate. She didn't see Yelena at first, hanging up her coat and kicking off her shoes. She had a bag of takeout in her hand and looked utterly exhausted, pieces of hair falling out of her ponytail in a frizzy mess.

The door closed behind her and she finally looked at Yelena, a confused look on her face, "Where are you going?"

Yelena bit the inside of her cheek, "Natasha's."

"That's a lot for an overnight," Kate responded, looking at her skeptically before setting down the takeout. Lucky finally bounded over to her, digging his face into her open palm and sitting down at her feet.

She pet him and looked again at Yelena, "It is just a sleepover, right?"

Yelena swallowed. Part of her wanted to cave, say this was just a sleepover (which wasn't exactly uncommon, they normally just involved a bit more spontaneity and a random call from Natasha at eleven pm because Yelena fell asleep on the couch), but she couldn't her words got stuck in her throat and all she managed was clearing her throat.

"Lena..."

"It's not," she finally got out, pushing her fists hard into the pockets of her jacket, "It's not just a night. It's... for the foreseeable future."

"What are you talking about?" Kate asked, seemingly more aware of Yelena than anything else in this moment.

"I'm leaving," Yelena's voice cracked, "This isn't working, Kate. This... the fighting and the couch and I just... I can't keep living like this."

Kate's face flickered between anger and sadness as if she were actively trying to figure out how to feel, "Lena, it's a rough patch. We... we can move past it. You don't have to leave."

"Kate, I can't keep doing this," Yelena responded, fidgeting with her hands as she tried not to cry. She wasn't sure how much longer she could keep her decision to leave if she started to cry.

"So you're just going to leave? Why can't we try working things out, Yelena?" Kate's voice raised and it took too much to not start sobbing.

"You're never home, Kate," Yelena's voice trembled, "I-I can't just stay here and do nothing all the time while you're out studying. And when you come home you're never awake for long, it feels like I never see you! We're always fighting, Kate, and I can't take it anymore."

Kate's look shifted from sadness to anger and she walked past Yelena and up the stairs, not saying anything.

"I'm sorry," Yelena said quietly, "I didn't... I love you, Kate."