I Need You | Seonghwa

17

A little over a week passes, leaving only two more weeks until the study break for exams.

Seonghwa can't even lie to himself anymore, he feels like his limit is rapidly approaching. The distress only keeps getting worse and exams are the last thing on his mind. He's constantly catching Haerin staring at him, and has had to uncomfortably put up with her during class too.

So far, she hasn't so much looked in his friends' directions which provides Seonghwa with the slightest bit of comfort. However, having to spend nearly every day near her is slowly ruining him mentally.

Haerin still hasn't been caught for her crimes. The police are still investigating San's case which leads Seonghwa to ask the question: how good is she at hiding her crimes? He fears that she may even be somewhat of a professional at keeping secrets.

Seonghwa has started to notice Wooyoung and Yeosang with Yunho on campus now. It seems that they decided to attend the last few classes of the term before exams arrive. It hurts Seonghwa every time he sees their bandages but he must turn his head away every time.

He's noticed Hongjoong too once or twice, and had to work a little harder to avoid him. If his friends see him, they might leave him be, thinking he's too focused on studying. But if Hongjoong sees him, there's no way he's letting him go.

Just like the two other times this past week, Seonghwa catches sight of the two-toned hair from far away. His heart jumps at the sight and he turns away instantly, looking for the nearest building to jump into.

He enters a building and looks for a room to study and eat in, knowing that the lounge isn't an option anymore. He eventually finds one of the rooms unlocked and secretly shuffles in. He can kill time here and also hide from Hongjoong. He can only hope that the other didn't notice him too.

However while Seonghwa is in the middle of his lunch, the door to the room creaks open. His eyes widen and he freezes as soon as Hongjoong's face comes into view.

"So you've been hiding here, huh," is all he says before taking a seat in front of Seonghwa.

"I wasn't hiding, just eating lunch," he mumbles, avoiding eye contact.

"Why have you been avoiding me? Your friends told me that you act like this when there's exams but I believe that's not the reason this time around," Hongjoong confronts. Seonghwa gulps and holds a fistful of his top under the table tightly.

"I haven't been avoiding you, sorry if it seemed that way. I really am stressed about exams," Seonghwa responds with a cold tone. Hongjoong sighs and moves closer. "I've been really worried for you. Please tell me anything that's been on your mind. Even if it's small, please let it out. I know you're struggling the most right now," Hongjoong pleads, frown growing.

Seonghwa finally lifts his head and as soon as his eyes meet with Hongjoong's, he struggles to keep his fragile self together any longer.

"I haven't been avoiding you. I'm fine-" Seonghwa begins, before his voice cracks and his eyes well up.

Hongjoong's intense expression softens and he places a hand on Seonghwa's shoulder. The older man tries to fight it longer, but he can't keep it in anymore. Especially not when Hongjoong is looking at him with the most comforting expression he's ever seen.

"I've been avoiding everyone because I'm terrified. I'm so scared that Haerin will hurt you too if she sees me with you again and I can't risk anything until she's locked up. All my friends are hurt because of me and I can't stand to see more people get hurt because of me. Why do you worry for me so much anyway? This is a good time to just leave and save yourself while you can, it's not worth the hassle to stay any longer," Seonghwa finally bursts, tears coating his cheeks already.

Hongjoong smiles softly and strokes Seonghwa's shoulder in an attempt to calm him. "None of this was your fault, you aren't the one who hurt your friends. You're a victim too. Please let me stay by your side. I worry for you so much because I like you and admire you. I'd rather put myself in danger to share some of your burden than let you suffer all alone like this," Hongjoong whispers.

Seonghwa feels shock ripple through him and before he can even think about what Hongjoong has just admit to him his breath is taken away.

Hongjoong leans in and whispers, "May I?" After Seonghwa nods eagerly, Hongjoong places a gentle kiss onto Seonghwa's lips before pulling away again.

Although brief, the kiss held a million emotions. Seonghwa's clenched fist relaxes and he doesn't even know which thought he should let his mind dwell on. The fact that his crush actually likes him back? The fact that he feels a little better after letting out some of his worries?

Or maybe the new worry that has just occurred to him?

"What if she saw us?" he whispers. "You can relax when you're with me, don't worry about her. I closed the door when I came here," Hongjoong reassures. Seonghwa glances to the door and to the windows. The door is indeed shut, and the windows are empty.

He sighs and suddenly pulls Hongjoong in for a hug, holding him tight. "Thank you for coming to me, the pain was getting unbearable and I'm so happy to have you," he sobs into Hongjoong's shoulder.

Hongjoong rubs Seonghwa's back and feels tears in his eyes too. "You can count on me. Let's meet up in this room in secret every day during your lunch break and talk. We can be together and we'll be cautious too," Hongjoong suggests.

Seonghwa pulls back and can't help but beam. "That sounds good. Thank you again."

❁

Outside the classroom, Haerin sits under the window of the room. That was close, they nearly saw me she thinks to herself.

They didn't see her, but she certainly saw everything.