whatever you wanted | arizona robbins & amelia shepherd (grey's anatomy)

jealousy, in all forms

 "Still Arizona, is it? Well - hello to you too, Amelia."

Amelia swallowed hard, as she tore herself away from the kitchen and further walked into the living room to get more privacy.

It had only been minutes since Arizona went upstairs to take a shower, and though she was sure that she wouldn't be seeing her for a short while, she knew she still had to be careful. She scanned the surroundings, beyond relieved that even DeLuca was nowhere to be found, and used all the energy she could muster to respond to Mich.

"Sorry." She began to apologize, taking a deep breath once again as she readjusted the firm grip she had on the phone.

"For Arizona or the sudden call?" Mich tentatively asked and Amelia uncomfortably ran a hand on her hair in frustration for many reasons a) she knew that the conversation they were about to have was best discussed in person and yet here they were, and b) Amelia had always failed with her words, now she could barely even let out a squeak because she was guilty - beyond guilty for what she did with Mich all these years.

"For both." She responded indignantly, knowing best to start the conversation with a sincere apology - regardless if she was already years late for it. "Believe me, it was never my intention to -"

Mich intervened, as Amelia heard her sigh from the other end of the line. " None of it matters anymore, Amelia. You know that ."

Amelia bits her bottom lip hard, allowing her mind to work its way to be able to respond in the best way possible, because Mich deserved just that, no matter how it had been years. "It still doesn't change the fact that I have hurt you." She trailed off, realizing that conveying the whole truth was not as easy as she thought it would be. "To be fair, we didn't - Arizona and I... it just, it was me - all me, and I never really acted on these feelings I had for -" She stopped mid-sentence, as she briefly turned her gaze to the stairwell, and was beyond comforted by the thought that the blonde surgeon was still pretty much occupied upstairs.

Amelia could hear Mich pulling up a smile, "Well, I don't need your apology." She replied nonchalantly, and Amelia found herself appeased by the thought alone. She remained silent as she patiently waited for Mich to formulate her own thoughts further. "I do need answers though. But this time you gotta be honest with me."

-x-

Amelia tried hard not to be bothered by the fact that Arizona was leaving Hopkins.

There had been rumours, and small talks she heard from the nurses' stations, and discussions from the attendings. Generally, people talk, and they do that a lot.

Amelia didn't know which one to actually believe in. She knew it would have been so much easier to simply ask Mich, but they haven't exactly been on speaking terms for the past few weeks.

And she was a coward to even ask the real deal between them - why they haven't been talking.

Stuck with the idea that Mich had only been busy with work or was going through something personal.

Either that or worse - if the sight of her and Arizona at the kitchen sink threw her off because she and Arizona were technically not even friends and yet Mich caught Amelia looking at Arizona as if she wanted to kiss her a few weeks back.

So again, she was afraid to ask - because there was a huge possibility it could be the latter, and Amelia was not prepared if that would be the actual case.

But it was Arizona's last year, and she was on her way to get to her fellowship - and yet Amelia still had no clue, exactly where, and which hospital she'd be working with.