The one that got away

Chapter 3

It took over an hour but I finally convinced the two of them to take Dylan to the park. She was helpful, getting really excited when I mentioned the swings. Dylan loved being outside and running around. She had a lot of energy now that she was wide awake. She would start terrorizing the clean house soon if we didn't take her somewhere. Bellamy asked me to come along, but I wanted to be alone for a few minutes. It was true, it wasn't easy to get alone time with a toddler.

Octavia told him it would be fun, and Dylan crawled on his lap. He was sold the minute she kissed his cheek and asked if Bellmy would take her to the swings. I could see him melt as she sat on his lap and pouted. She was the perfect little actress.

They were adorable together, exactly what I always thought my life would be like. I just wish he would've been there for the first two years of her life. I knew I could wish it all I wanted, but I could never change the past. All I could do was make sure he was in her future.

Once they were gone I fell apart. The tears I tried to control started to fall again. It hurt to realize I was cutting all ties to the life I had. I didn't miss him, I just never thought it would end this way. We were supposed to make it. Our story wasn't supposed to end this way.

I sat on the couch for a few minutes, getting the hurt out of my system. I really didn't want to cry, it made the bruises worse. Bubbah tried to kiss away the tears, he made it better. I held him tightly as I pulled myself together. It was easier to fall apart in front of him than Dylan. He didn't ask why mommy was crying, why the tears wouldn't stop.

When Dylan turned two I cried myself to sleep. She wandered into my room, asking why I was crying. I lied and told her I didn't feel well. She climbed up into the bed with me and wrapped her tiny arms around me. She kissed my wet cheeks, which only made me cry more. She didn't care why I was hurting, she just wanted it to stop. I wanted to stop for her, but sometimes that wasn't enough.

It was after that night I realized I needed to find a way to break free from him and the life I was living. I owed it to my daughter to be the mother my mom was. I needed to be strong and happy for her. I couldn't do that if I was stuck in that house.

I poured myself a glass of wine. I knew it wouldn't stop the tears, but somehow it might make me feel better. I was standing in the kitchen, looking around at how neat Bellamy kept his house. I was surprised, he had always been pretty messy. My eyes scanned the counter, that's when I saw the box. Normally I wouldn't snoop, but my name was written across the first envelope. I pulled it out slowly, there were a dozen other envelopes that followed. My eyes went wide, he had written me actual letters. They all had return to sender on the front.

That bastard wouldn't even let my friends find me. I closed my eyes, feeling another rush of anger. I would never go back. I would pick up my life and find a way to make it here. I didn't need him, not when he took away every single person I loved. He wanted total control, I wasn't willing to give that to him anymore.

I wanted to read these letters, but I couldn't make myself open them. I ran my finger down the side, catching my nail on the corner. No it wasn't right to read something I never got.

I took a sip of wine and pulled my phone out. I looked at the picture of us. It was our first family photograph, the one I convinced him to take when Dylan turned one. She was standing up giggling, I was staring at her. He was smiling, but it was forced. I needed to change that.

I scrolled through my contacts and called my house. I needed to do this without an audience and I didn't know when the three of them would be back. I took in a deep breath, taking another swig from the glass. My heart beat erratically in my chest as I waited for someone to pick up, "hello?"