Slowly opening my eyes to see a new atmosphere around me. Where am I? This place doesn't look anything like my bedroom. All I could hear was the sound of the heart monitor beeping, counting my heartbeats. I looked around to see almost twelve nurses standing around my bed. They were watching me but, why? All these people are surrounding me and I can't figure out why.
I heard a nurse say, "She's waking up." Well, yeah I was waking up but, this is not my bedroom. I looked into the eyes of the nurse who was right beside me. She grabbed my hand and leaned down and whispered, "darlin' things are going to get better.. it will take some time but, it will be okay again.'' No, things won't be okay again, they never were okay since dad has been gone.
The doctor came over to me and began telling me what happened. He informed me that I had a broken back, broken left arm,shattered femur, a punctured lung, and that my arms were pretty cut up. They said they could not tell if the cuts were from the accident or from before but, they felt sure that the cuts were due to the flipping around in the accident.
I just sat there and listened. There is no way in hell I would tell them that those cuts were not from the accient. Simply because they don't need to know. What I did before the accident has nothing to do with them, what they need to be concerned about now is getting me out of here alive, if I can make it.
The nurses walked away and told me I had a visitor. Shocked and confused at the fact someone cared enough about me to be here, and also confused because I thought no one cared. I slowly leaned my head over to look at this person standing beside my hospital bed. I immediately began to cry. The person standing beside me was my best friend from kindergarten named Jackie.
Jackie had brown curly hair and bright blue eyes. We were friends in kindergarten but, somewhere between her volleyball and my band practices, we stopped talking. I never thought much about it because she got caught up with sports and I went into a major downfall of depression in grade eight. But the main question is what was she doing here? We haven't talked in years, yet she's the first person here.
She was always someone I thought of as an inspiration. She never let anything get her down long enough to stay down, she always popped right back up and continued on with her life like nothing bad happened. She was so pretty anyways, she had every right to be happy. She always cared so much for others and would go out of her limits just to help someone who needed it most. That's the thing about Jackie.. she cares about everyone and you can't find anyone better than her.
I could feel the tears streaming down my face as Jackie walked over closer to the bed and sat down beside me. I tried to sit up and give her a hug but the pain was too intense. Jackie sat closer to me and looked me in the eyes and told me she was always there for me when I needed it or if I just needed someone to talk to. That meant a lot that after all these years she's still there and willing to do anything for me. I cried as she told me that.
She began to tell me about how she also suffered with depression and cutting for a short time. She seemed so perfect, I would have never even pictured her having anything bad happening. She told me how she decided to write out her feelings instead of use self-distruction as a method of coping when in reality she knew it only hurt her more. She was most definately an inspiration. I regret not having a stronger friendship with her for the past four years.
She pulled her song book out of her purse and began to sing me one of her songs she wrote about me Immediately I began to cry. It was so beautiful and it was about me. Why would anyone write about such a worthless creature like me? So many emotions filled my mind as she read them and all i could do was cry. It was perfect.
The morphine began to wear off and I could feel all the pain beginning to get stronger. I tried to talk but the pain was too intense. I opened my mouth but nothing came out. Jackie pushed the button for the nurses to come. I didn't mean to scare her but the pain was overwhelming and all I could do was cry.
The nurses rushed in to see what the problem was. I tried to look at the nurse but, I couldn't even open my eyes without feeling as if someone was stabbing me. I could feel myself slowly stop breathing. I looked over at Jackie one last time and told her I loved her. My heart beat was decreasing extremely fast. The nurses put me on the gurney and rushed me to the ICU. I remember going into the elevator and making it to the fifth floor, and then I lost consciousness due to the unbearable pain.
