The Light in His Violence

Chapter 1

WITH the breeze coming inside the library, I shuddered knowing that I have no jacket or anything to make the coldness I am feeling go away. I am currently reading my lecture notes  because we have a quiz tomorrow. As a third year psychology student, I am aiming to be one of the best, just to make my parents proud.

I scanned my notes and yawned because of the tiredness I am feeling. I drank my coffee to calm my nerves although the real purpose of coffee is to create adrenaline and help make the body be productive and prevent drowsiness. Since the effects are clearly different, iced coffee will always be superior in my body, tho, it does create palpitations in my heart.

I am studying a case called DID or Dissociative Identity Disorder. It is a mental health condition. Used to be called multiple personality disorder or split personality disorder. People with DID tend to have two or more separate identities yet some can reach up to 100 alters. These personalities or alters control a person's behavior at different times. Each alter has it's own personality and history. Since DID is very rare, the disorder affects between 0.01 and 1% of the population and can occur in any age and is often confused with other behavioral problems common in children such as attention deficit hyperactivity disorder or ADHD, with that DID is usually diagnosed when adulthood is reached. Signs and symptoms can include anxiety, delusions, depressions, memory loss and etc. Root causes are emotional, physical or sexual abuse., accidents, war, trauma in early childhood, and natural disasters. Most effective treatment is psychotherapy as to the fact that the cure still isn't found and can't be prevented.

I found this diagnosis so fascinating and thrilling to know. Most are usually diagnosed with ADHD or PTSD yet this case is riveting to my eye. Having different personalities in your body, is just interesting minus the trauma it gave you but how does it even feel? How will you even know if they are a person with DID?

The brain captivates me from time to time, it masks certain ailments that can hurt the body that  some people just shamefully make fun of it. From all the pain and trauma one person felt, the brain suddenly removes those nasty parts just to help it return back to normal. Seeing so many people fighting with different kinds of sickness just shows how strong humankind is. Humans are also animals, they are also part of the vertebrae family called mammals yet humans are the only ones gifted with a brain so extraordinary. Seeing the beauty of these ailments will show you the path to where life is taking you. This may serve as a lesson for us to live and know what life is.

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Remembering the meaning of DID just made me more curious as to why this Victor Inkolai is a suspect of crimes. Maybe he experienced something brutal which made his alter do such things. I composed myself and smiled. That's right Akira, smile. Just smile.

"What a pretty babe." He has this raspy and low toned voice which can create butterflies in my tummies. His eyes are intriguing, it sent shivers to my spine. Shit, my weakness, poging boses!

I shookt away my thoughts. Mamaya ka na lumandi Akira! Jusko, he is your patient, hindi pwedeng mainlove ka! Remember, he's a suspect, you wouldn't like your crush to be in jail right but who am I to judge?

"Uhm, ehem, good morning sir! Please take a seat." I urged him to seat down in front of me yet he just shrugged his shoulders and looked at me coldly. Ah, his alter I guess? I never knew it can change so quickly.

"Oh, you don't want to seat?" Tanong ko sa kanya. I looked at him and no ounce of fear can I feel, which is weird because cases like this can make me feel anxious but this time, it doesn't- knowing for a fact he is a major suspect in a major crime.

He just raised his right brow at me and didn't say anything. Nanatiling siyang nakatayo sa harap ko't tinitignan lang ako. I can feel his powerful stares lingering from my head to foot. Was he examining me? I just inhaled and smiled again.