Five Hargreeves x Y/n Hargreeves

【Chapter 1】

?????: "Ben..."

??????: "Is that really you?"

?: "And who are the weirdos on the balcony?"

Dad: "They are the Sparrows. My children."

??: "I'm sorry. What do you mean, your children? That's not possible, old man."

Dad: "Of course it is! I think I'd know, wouldn't I?"

?????: "Everybody else can see Ben, right?"

Ben: "Cute hat, Sundance."

Dad: "They call themselves the Umbrella Academy, a group of scheming, perfidious malcontents who accosted me in the fall of 1963 when I was away on business in Dallas. Be warned, they claim to be my spawn."

???: "Claim? Look, Five, what the hell is going on?"

Five: "I don't know yet, but it's concerning."

Marcus: "Is he telling the truth?"

???????: "Not the part about us being perfidious."

?????: "No, we're amateur-fidious, at best."

??????: "But we are his children. This is our house."

Y/n's mind: 'WTF?!'

??????: "Yeah, yeah. We, uh...we grew up here."

Alphonso: "Yeah, we grew up here."

Sloane: "I kinda of think we would have noticed you."

Luther: "Hi. I'm Luther."

???: "Okay. None of you belong here."

Fei: "Oh! Well, then. I guess we'll just pack our bags and move out."

*Christopher speaks and all Sparrows laugh*

Ben: "You slay me, Chris."

*Grace walks to them*

Mom: "I wasn't expecting company...This is the best I could do on short- Short...Short notice."

?: "Mom..."

Jayme: "Mom? She's a robot, you perv."

?: "It's not a robot."

Luther: "Hey, don't call him that."

Ben: "Or what?"

Luther: "Come closer and find out."

???????: "Luther! Guys, chill!"

Ben: "Think I'm afraid?"

?????: "Stand down, Ben."

Some moments later...

*The Umbrella Academy and the Sparrow Academy start to fight*

Jayme: "Hey, short pants. What's up?"

Five: "Go help the others. I'll handle this one."

???: "Okay."

Jayme: "What are you, their mascot?"

*Five teleports himself behind Jayme and hit her*

Five: "More like their ringer."

*Jayme gives him a hallucination*

Five: "Ugh. Hey, gross, all right? The hell? Delores?"

Y/n's mind: 'Who is Delores?!'

*Five speaks in Italian and kisses the air*

Jayme: "Ugh...Are they all perverts?"

Y/n's mind: 'What the-'

*Jayme kicks Five and he rolls down the stairs, infront of Y/n*

Y/n: "Shit..."

*Y/n wants to run to Ben and the another but Five takes her/his/their arm and runs in the other way*

Y/n: "Hey...let me go...asshole..."

*Fei uses her power and crows follow them*

Five: "The briefcase!"

Luther: "What?"

???:" No time!"

*Five teleports Y/n and himself back in the hallway*

Five: "Where's the briefcase? Shit, it's gone!"

*Five sees Ben and the others*

Five: "Vanya, get out of there!"

*Vanya starts to use her powers and Five teleports Y/n and himself away*

Y/n: "Stop teleporting...that gives me headaches....AND...let me go!"

*Five let go of Y/n's arm*

Y/n: "Thank you..."

*Y/n and the others walk into a park*

Diego: "Five why did you take her/him/them...? And who is this?"

Y/n: "I'm Y/n...And...don't worry...I'm not gonna murder you...And who are you...?"

Diego: "Diego."

Y/n: "...And...who are the others...?"

Five: "That is Luther, Alison, Klaus. And I'm Five."

When they arrived into the park...

Luther: "Just gonna sit. I'm just gonna sit for a minute."

Diego: "That didn't go well."

Five: "No, not our best work."

Klaus: "Oh, I'm cracking."

Alison: "You all right?"

Luther: "I don't know yet. I've just never had my ass handed to me like that before. It's like...Here you go. It's your ass."

Alison: "Okay, I think Luther's concussed."

Klaus: "Luther, how many fingers?"

Luther: "Oh my God...Vanya."

*Vanya comes to them*

Vanya: "Oh...Thank God you're alive."

Alison: "You okay?"

Klaus: "Apparently, so is Ben."

Alison: "Yeah. And he's a complete dickhead."

Y/n: "Why shouldn't Ben be alive...?"

Five: "Our Ben died on a mission."

Y/n: "Oh......"

Diego: "They're all dickheads."

Y/n: "Hey! Don't call my siblings dickheads...You're right...but don't call them that.......asshole...."

Luther: "Dickheads who can fight."

Five: "Okay, next person to say 'dickhead' is getting a punch to the throat."

Y/n: "Dickhead."

Alison and Luther: "Dickhead."

Klaus and Diego: "Dickhead."

Diego: "Hey, did Dad tell you why he was calling them his kids?"

Klaus: "He sure did! You ready? Dad was so repulsed by us back in Texas, that he adopted an entirely different group of children just so that he didn't have to raise us."

*Y/n gets nosebleed and faints*