(Here is a bit of a key)
Italicised Text - Mind thinking negatively
Underlined Text - Mind trying to think positively
Combined Text - Unified Mind Process, aka normal thinking
Reza's POV
It's midnight, why am I still awake? It's not normal for me to stay up like this.
Sluggishly, I slide out of bed as I contemplate my decision to not sleep. Tired, I head to the living room to make myself some tea.
Go to bed you imbecile, it's the third night you've done this.
Ignoring my mind's orders to sleep, I turn on the kettle, and pull out a small teapot and a teacup with a matching pattern of yellow and purple.
I try to distract myself with the colours of the room, we have... a beige couch, a mahogany table covered with a white table cloth, several cushions coloured with red, blue, orange, green... and purple flowers that I collected last morning.
Just go to bed! They're all worrying about my health ever since I missed his party!
I take a small tin box out of the pantry labeled 'For the bestest friend I've ever had!' and feel my heart ache a bit, I never meant to cause worry! I just felt under the weather that day!
Stop lying to yourself.
Sighing, I put a scoop of the masala chai (gifted to me by my best friend) and delicately drop it into the tea strainer, and put the lid of the tin back on, before putting it in the pantry. Slowly, the kettle finishes boiling and I pour the steaming water into the teapot.
I need to-
Shut up.
Waiting. It's boring, yet bearable, and gives me time to calm down. I walk to the harp in the living room. It hurts to look at. Not because it's broken or anything else. I tuned it last night.
It's because he loved hearing me play.
It's because I haven't seen him in a while, I'm going to see him again.
I sit down at the soundbox of the harp and adjust the pedals, and place my fingers in a familiar position.
I really shouldn't.
It calms me down.
As fast as that, I'm playing a lullaby. Yet it doesn't put me to sleep, it just calms my senses. Each glissando I perform reminds me of him, I fight back tears as I remember him giving me the sheet music for this song to play.
He isn't dead.
But would he accept me as a friend again?
My fingers halt their plucking for a moment as I remember the tea I was making. I get off the stool and walk over to the kitchen bench again. I pour the tea into the cup and add some milk, I never really said thank you for this, did I.
No. I never did.
Shut up!
I fight the urge to yell in disappointment, he did all of this, for me, just to be there.
And I did nothing in return.
I said shut up!
I take a deep breath and grab the tea filled cup, and put it on the coffee table. My hands were shaking afterwards, I guess I'm that stressed out tonight.
Maybe I should just-
"SHUT UP!" I scream in anger. I fall onto the couch in tears, couldn't I just live normally? I can barely breathe, my chest feels tight, everything hurts.
The door opens and then closes.
"Hey, I just came back from Zahrah's, thought I should check on- are you ok?" A voice wondered.
I look up, it's him.
"Sorry you have to see me like this. I couldn't sleep." I murmur, sniffling.
"Don't apologise for crying Reza," he soothes, walking over to me, "what's going on?"
I tell him about what's going on, and how I feel unworthy of his generosity, because I haven't given him a single thing, because I haven't been there at anything he arranges. He just listens to me, doesn't say anything, he just sits down next to me an brings me into a warm embrace while I vent.
God I feel so ashamed of my-
"You should take a sip of your tea, I'll try to find you a blanket." He said, getting up from his seat
"Thanks, Miguel." I sniffle, picking up my teacup shakily. I take a small sip of the chai tea, it was a bit too hot right now but I knew it would cool down in time.
Miguel comes back with a blanket and gently puts it over me.
"You know, Reza," He starts, "I got you that stuff to try and cheer you up, that first time I noticed you this down, it scared me. You were so happy those previous days, and then your cheery self just— look, I only wanted to see you smile, you don't owe me anything."
"But-"
"No buts, now come on, drink your tea, if you need to finish the whole pot, go ahead, but you're getting some sleep right after!" He insists.
"Alright." I say.
(A/N: Did i just write a whole chapter of hurt/comfort? I swear to the lord if I just did-)
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