It's Not Supposed To Be This Way - The Outsiders

Chapter 8

Ponyboy's P.O.V. -

Johnny and I snuck onto a train headed to Jay Mountain with nothing but the clothes on our backs, our switchblades, and the money and gun Dally had given us. As we sat on the floor of the railcar, the train rattling along, it took everything in my not to doze off.

"Why'd Dally think we need a gun?" Johnny asked.

Well that's a dumb question, I thought. "In case we get approached by someone who could hurt us."

Johnny was quiet the rest of the way, but kept looking over at me like a scared little puppy. When we finally got to our stop, Johnny quickly scrambled off the train, and I followed after him. We found the abandoned church at the top of Jay Mountain, but only after Johnny made me pretend to be a farm boy to go ask some old man for directions.

"Ya think we should go get some supplies?" Johnny asked, sitting on the dusty wood floor of the church.

"You go to the store, I'll stay here and hold down the fort."

"You got it," Johnny grinned as he headed out. I layed down on the floor, using the jacket Dally gave me as a pillow, and got some of the sleep I'd been so deprived of.

I was awoken a few hours later by Johnny thunking a grocery bag onto the broken table off to the side of the church. I sat up and watched as he pulled groceries out of the bag. Canned vegetables. Baloney. Bread. A book.I stood up and walked over to the table to look at the book.

" 'Gone With The Wind' ", Johnny remarked as I flipped through the pages, "Didn't you say you like that book?"

I nodded, but was quickly distracted by the bottle of hydrogen peroxide he pulled out of the bag. I stared at it for a few seconds, trying to figure out what the hell we'd need peroxide for, when all of sudden it hit me. "Johnny, you ain't thinkin'-"

"We're cuttin' our hair," he interrupted. "And you're bleachin' yours."

"Nuh-uh," I responded. "No way. Not gonna happen."

"They're gonna put our descriptions in the paper. We can't match 'em."

"I ain't cutting my hair, Johnny."

"They'll cut it if we go to jail anyway, Pony."

I was silent.

"C'mon, Pone. It'll grow back."

I grumbled and sat down on the floor, handing Johnny my blade. "Fine."

Johnny started sawing my hair off, and pulling at it real hard during the process.

"Ow," I complained for probably the fifth time.

After Johnny finished cutting my hair (and doing a terrible job at it), he handed me my blade. "Have at it" he sighed, gesturing at his hair. I cut his hair, and did a far better job than he did on mine.

After we'd doused my head in peroxide, I went to sit out in the sun to let my hair lighten.

"Hey, Pony," Johnny poked his head out after about a half hour. "Your hair's probably done bleaching now."

I went back inside the church and sat down in front of the busted up mirror on the floor. My formerly long, reddish light brown hair, was now short and blond. I looked awful. "I look like a blasted pansy," I mumbled.

"It ain't that bad," Johnny said, but I know he knew it was horrible, too.

I felt hot tears stinging my cheeks. It wasn't over my hair, I'm not that vain.

"C'mon, Pony," Johnny whispered. "I'm sorry I cut your hair off."

"It's not that. I don't wanna be here. I wish you never killed that soc."

"Stop it." Johnny snapped. "It wasn't my fault. He coulda killed you."

I walked back over to the jacket laying on the cold floor and laid down. I laid on that grimy floor til fell back asleep.

~~~

"Hey dumbasses," I heard a familiar voice boom. "Get up."

I sat up and saw Dally towering over Johnny and I, and quickly sat up.

"Good god, what'd you do to your hair?"

I glared at him, but my attention was quickly diverted by a letter with my name on it. I recognized the letter as Soda's.

Dally sat down with Johnny and I, and passed me the letter. "Sodapop told me to bring you this. I told him I didn't know where y'all are, but he didn't believe me."

I started reading the letter.

'Dear Ponyboy,
Well it sure looks like you got yourself into some trouble. Darry's awful sorry for hurting you. He really didn't mean it. He's worried sick now that your mising. Lillian keeps asking when your coming home. She sure is scared. I really wish y'all would just come back. You being gone is kiling us. Stay safe. We love you.
Sodapop Curtis'

I felt terrible. I missed Sodapop and Lillie Bug something awful, and I even missed Darry a bit, too. I sat there, staring at the letter, completely silent.

"Wanna go get something to eat?" Dally broke the silence

Johnny and I both nodded. We were starving.

~~~

We sat in the Dairy Queen, eating our food, when Johnny looked over at Dally. "We gotta turn ourselves in."

"What the hell are talking about?" Dally nearly choked on his food.

"We gotta go back," Johnny continued. "It ain't fair for Darry and Soda and Lillie to be so worried. We ain't gonna get away with it anyway."

Dally sighed. "Fine. Let's get the stuff from the church."