" The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain" - Dolly Patron
The world usually crumbles around me, I float in the centre unable to reach, unable to stop, just able to see. Torture I'd call it; all my hard work folding below my feet and my cheerleaders laugh below. I wonder often how I got here, and how things manage to make a switch. It's hard to tell if it's destiny or if things just really don't marinate in my reality for too long.
For years my life would roll and toil, sink and rock, and I thought maybe this is how it had to be, maybe my loss was the win for another, I guess once God chose me to be that person it was okay. It was a cool October, which was solemnly appreciated by me, as the devil always played and pricked at my skin with his sharp fork and hot fingertips. I'd grown tired of running and at this point, just wanted to survive not really live. But, as I knew would happen, the coolness had left and opened a portal of thunder and confusion. Everything rumbled, the wind blew, I was there alone and no one knew, windows broke as the angry soul called The Mother of Nature spat at me, "why have you left me" she grew with her resent. It was true, I lost touch with my peace, my love for anything, my life...me. There was nothing that would calm her and my pessimism only made her grind her teeth. I ran, and bumped into a tree, through all the wind it never gave up, it never moved, it dug its roots deeper into the soil and never shed a tear though it lost some leaves. "I need help, she's angry" I looked up at the almost hairless tree, and he brought his branch down for me "you and I are the same, we have the same maker, but you've forgotten who made you" mother still roared though I sat in the safety of her trees "but I'm with you, why am I not safe" I hugged the branch a little tighter "because you're not with you" and he slowly let me down to ground "find who you are, make your own roots" I couldn't let go, I panicked as the hairs on my head seemed to want to separate from my scalp "but I'm comfortable up there" I begged the tree to not let go "how will I grow if I have to hold you, how will you grow if you have to hold me" he replied still smiling though his leaves were all gone and his body bent and weary from the storm around him "I'll always be here, but I cannot hold you, you cannot hold me, you must grow with me" I took a last look and lowered my feet to the ground.
As I touched the soil immediately I flew, I held on the anything but it just slipped from my grasp, tears leaving my eyes as I couldn't see the way, I screamed for my tree; no answer. I fought against the mother and she only screamed louder at me "you must grow with me" the faint voice of my tree echoed in my ear and I stopped, "you and I are the same" his voice spoke again, I found my answer; closing my eyes to find my roots, digging them deep into the soil creating my existence as sturdy as I could and feeling as my leaves spread all over me, breathing in my atmosphere and out anything that poisoned me; using everything to grow.
Finally, she was silent, everything around me stood to their height, welcoming me back to their fold, a branch lowered in front of me "now we can grow together" I smiled and held on tight "I'm sorry about your leaves" I said to my tree "sometimes saving someone else you lose a few things to make room, but, the things that must stay always return, or hold firm, and the life you saved just brings more" I smiled at my tree and hugged him as I watched him grow right beside me.
If ever published: take it as it resonates, this piece may mean different things to everyone
Kaleigh Ross
