dancing with our hands tied | conrad fisher

twenty four

"I feel so stupid," Belly sobbed into her pillow. "Honey, why would you feel stupid?" Laurel entered her room with Sadie closely behind.

"Don't feel stupid. You couldn't have known. That's how she wanted it," Sadie climbed onto Belly's bed to hug her. "It's exactly how she wanted it," Laurel joined her two daughters on the bed, comforting the both of them.

"How long have you known?" Belly asked her mother. "Since the spring."

"You?" She now directed her question to her older sister. "Beginning of summer."

"She didn't want to burden you kids with it. She wanted one last summer with you guys."

"But what about you?" Sadie expressed her concern for her mother. It never hit her that her mom knew about it too. Looking back, of course she knew, her and Susannah were best friends. But knowing that her mom had to carry all of that weight by herself hurt her.

"What about me?"

"You had to carry it all by yourself."

Steven opened the door, with red eyes. "She's not gonna get better, is she?" His voice broke.

"No." Laurel invited her son to join them. All she wanted to do at the moment was comfort and protect her three children. She never wanted to see them heart broken like this. She, along with everyone else, believed that Susannah was okay when she beat cancer the first time. They all thought that she was invincible, a superhero.

"I'm so sorry the night turned out like this. It's not how I wanted you to find out." Susannah comforted her two boys on the couch.

"Mom, you're gonna do the trial, right?" Jeremiah asked.

"Uh... No, honey. I'm not. I can't. Chances are very slight. Uh, nonexistent, really, and... I just can't go through that again. It was too hard the first time."

"Mom, but you could try. You have to try."

"I just want to be me when I go. Does that make sense?"

"No, it doesn't make sense. None of this makes any sense."

"I know, I know. I'm not good at this. Okay? Mommy's not good at this."

"Mom, if there's any chance, you have to. I mean, you have to. Come on, tell her, Conrad. Why aren't you saying anything?" Jeremiah continued to sob, while getting agitated at his older brother.

"Mom?" Conrad broke his silence. "Can't you just... I mean, can't you just try? For us, Mom? ... I need you."

"Okay, I know it's end times if you're cooking." Susannah made a lighthearted joke, seeing Laurel get a pot out.

Susannah made the decision to take part in the trial. It was a risk, but she was doing it for everyone that she loved. And herself.

Conrad loudly ran out of the living room, going straight down to the beach.

"I don't care what the doctors say. It's going to work. You're magic." Laurel smiled.

"Since when do you believe in magic?" Susannah chuckled.

"I believe in you."

The kids were still processing the news. It was hard enough to hear the news the first time, but the second time came out of nowhere. It was like a hurricane crashed through their family. Destroyed them, but they were closer than ever.

Sadie quietly walked downstairs to join the moms. She was still in her debutante dress. Everyone was still in their clothes. They were all too distraught to change. "Hey, sweetie," Susannah smiled. "You're not mad, are you?" She asked.

"No one's mad at you. No one could ever be mad at you," Sadie replied. "Mom, you're cooking?"

"Okay, just because I rarely cook, doesn't mean I never do," Laurel answered.

"I think I've cooked more than you have this summer," Sadie chuckled. "It's true, Laur," Susannah responded.

"How's everyone holdin' up?" Susannah asked. She asked Sadie, because she was the only one talking to her as if nothing changed, and she had time to process. Maybe not accept the fact, but she processed it.

"They're holding up. They'll be okay," Sadie gave her a soft smile.

"I wish I knew that you two knew," the blonde mother said.

"You wanted the perfect summer, and we acknowledged that."

"I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Susannah. We all love you. So much." Susannah walked around to Sadie's side of the kitchen island and hugged her. Sadie's eyes began to tear up, but she stopped herself from crying. She knew that if she started crying, she wouldn't be able to stop.

Sadie looked out the window to see Conrad, sitting alone on the beach. She took a deep breath in to gather herself.

"Go," Laurel smiled, knowing where her daughter wanted to go.