cacophony

188

188.
how am i supposed to move
in a cage inflated so much
that now it feels tight?
so tight that i can feel every crevice,
every corner, every crack.
when breathing is a luxury in this cage
and tears are complementary.
when will luxury
become default?
when will my cage deflate
and give me room to feel comfortable again?
to feel full
but free;
and whole
but happy.
just a number,
but why so high?
why so close to 200?
is it really that close to 200?
why did i let myself
fall apart to get like this?

when will this flesh i'm trapped in
help me
instead of hurt me?

- gianna marie.