❖His Gem♦💎♦Ashtray❖

Maybe He's Scared to Love

      Finally, Jules and Rue made their way from the bathroom. Jules leading Rue through the crowd with purpose, and when I mean leading Rue, I mean, holding her hand and practically dragging her through the crowd. Jules made a pit stop at the table, taking a large sip from the bottle.

   I sucked my teeth silently, rolling my head tiredly, more like boredly as I reached over for the bottle. Jules leading, dragging, Rue further onto the dance floor. I sipped on the bottle, watching the two as they made their way through the crowd, mentally noting the visual exchange between Rue and Nate. Lexi taking the bottle from me.

"I feel like love is super dark and no one ever talks about it." I hummed quietly to Cassie, taking the bottle back from Lexi.

"Yeah, but that might be specific to their kind of love." Lexi interjects.

"Or my kind of love... I think I'm gonna do everything in my power for at least, like, the next three years to not fall in love." Cassie revolutionizes.

"But what if you do?" Kat asks?

"Then intervene and fucking destroy it." I take one last sip, finally putting it down before I start to show to much sign of being intoxicated, feeling it heavy as I sat there in boredom. That only to seem to make my buzz feel stronger.

    I put it down further towards the middle of the table, Lexi smiling as she took it after and drank some more of it. I chuckled some, shaking my head at her before turning to the side, Kat standing up from the table and taking off somewhere.

   I pulled my lip down, impressed as Kat walked right up to some boy and soon enough led him somewhere on the upper area.

"What you guys think they're talking about?" I shrugged at Cassie, all of us still watching Kat and the kid.

"I'm guessing they workin' out some shit." I stated obviously. Cassie gasped quietly, the kid suddenly kissing Kat.. and then they kept kissing. And then she kissed back.

    My hands tried to grip the table, tensing in my spot as Lexi suddenly yelled out. Literally having no clue what, but.. it was loud and unsuspected, literally scaring the hell out of me. She laughed, more so when Kat gave her a look and even more when she saw me.

"Bitch what was that?!" I yelled, Cassie giggling behind her.

"What did you say?" Cassie asked. Lexi laughed some more.

"I started to say one thing, and then I said something else, but.. she knows what I meant." It was clear the Gatorade was getting to her. Not blaming her because, I felt it too. I chuckled some at this, Cassie and I sharing a look before turning back to Lexi who looked very content and happy. I couldn't help but laugh more, it quiet as I slowly lost breathe, almost wheezing before finally laughing out loudly at once. Slumping on the table as I continued to laugh some.. a lot. Okay so maybe I drank more than I should have.. but whatever.

   I leaned back in my chair, arms crossed across my chest, Lexi leaning onto the table, Cassie sitting beside her. All of us silently watching our friends on the dance floor.

"Can I ask you something?" Lexi asked her older sibling quietly.

"Yeah." I rolled my head to the side, looking between the two despite Lexi having her back to me in her current position.

"How do you decide who you wanna hook up with?" Lexi asks. I tune into the conversation more.

"I don't know. They usually just come to you." I frown at this, not really sure what I was expecting for an answer.

"Yeah, but what if they don't?" Lexi counters back.

"Then go and do whatever the fuck you want." Cassie advises instead. My face falls a bit, Lexi quietly agreeing with her sister.

"I'm gonna do that." Lexi quietly declares. Cassie laughs quietly to her sister.

"I love you, Lex."

"I love you, too." Lexi says back. It's quiet for a for minutes, me not being able to help myself.

"What if.. they do.. but then they also don't?" I ask her. They look at me, almost confused as I focus on Cassie. She pauses a minute, before giving a small smile.

"Maybe they're holding out because they're scared..." I internally cringe. For some reason regretting my decision to ask her. I looked away from her, sighing sadly to myself. It's not like he'd actually get scared.. This is the same kid who enjoys watching me cry. I chuckled, a little lack of enthusiasm, but still, a chuckle none the less, catching myself thinking about him. How does he always end up on my fucking mind?

    I sigh for the hundredth time, this time in defeat as I hung my head. I looked back up, scanning the crowd in boredom once again. My brows knitted together, scanning over the crowd once more.. Wait a minute.. where'd the fuck..?

   I felt my anxiety rise, getting the feeling I just got ditched. I got up from my seat, now determining that both Rue and Jules were no longer in the gym.

"Your leaving?" I nod to Lexi quickly.

"Yeah, I may or may not be back." I mumbled walking out of the building. I felt my nerves rise, trying to get past the sea of people, as I started internally panicking. I inhaled sharply, looking around outside.

"Jules?" She turned around to me, her and Rue looking super excited about something.

"Come with us, Marina!" She gestured for me to follow after her. Rue suddenly getting on a bike as Jules walked backwards, trying to get me to hurry along. I should mention we also didn't get to the school on bikes. We were stealing bikes.

"Where are we going?" I asked, running after them quickly.

"Just come one, hurry up!" She laughs, running along with a bike too. I grabbed a random one, running with it before jumping on it, quickly pedaling after them.