Splat Wars

1.1

Blue Territory
Not a sound peeped in the arena. Except for a few birds tweeting in the background. There wasn't much to listen out for, however, in this small metal barricade right at the edge of the woods overlooking a small field.
Inside the barricade were two men in paintball gear. Both had their masks on with blue markings on them, as per regulation, had fully clothed dark camouflage outfits, and were each carrying a standard paintball rifle. The main difference between them was that one of them had a vest on with different pockets holding various items, had 4 paint grenades hanging off of his belt, and had a tag reading 'Monkey' on his left arm sleeve, while the other guy had a larger paint gun strapped around his back, had extra gray, wolf-like markings on his helmet, and had the name 'Hunter' on his left arm sleeve. Monkey and Hunter were crouched in silence with guns aimed toward the field, keeping a watch out for members of the opposite team that would try to charge them. They maintained the silence for a few seconds before Hunter broke the silence.

"Hey," Hunter spoke up.

"What?" Monkey responded.

"Should I shave my beard?"

"What?" Monkey looked at Hunter with a confused look. "Where did that come from all of a sudden?"

"Well... I was just thinking, let's say some members of the green team decided to charge up here, we get into a heated battle, and all of a sudden, out of nowhere, one of them shoots me in the mouth. Now not only do I have to put up with paint in my mouth, but also paint in my beard."

"And...?"

"Wouldn't it be easier to clean it off of clear skin instead of a beard? Besides, it wouldn't stick as much."

"What about your mouth?"

"I don't care about the mouth. I just don't want the paint to stay in any hairs."

Monkey became very confused at that point. "Who in their right mind would prioritize a clean beard over a clean mouth? I don't give a crap what those girls used to say about 'Beauty is pain', I can tell you this right now. Ain't no one gonna wanna have to put up with nasty stuff in their mouth while trying to look nice. And why would looks matter at a place like this where the only ones are you, me, the Lieutenant, and a number of greens trying to splatter us to death. Where's the logic in that?"

"Beauty before taste?"

Monkey let off a sigh and responded with, "Just focus on keeping watch."

Green Territory
Meanwhile, in the distance, two more guys were keeping an eye on the blue guys from a trench in the field. Rather than blue markings, these guys had green markings on their helmets, and they appeared better armored with full body vests than the blue team. One of the guys was standing with binoculars looking in the direction of the blue team's barricade. He had a unique samurai style helmet, a pebble necklace hanging from his neck with a number of small bones hanging in various places of the necklace, and a tag with the name 'Abe' on his left arm sleeve. The other guy was sitting behind Abe in the trench holding a paint machine gun. His attire appeared a bit more baggy with an empty sword sheath strapped around his back. He had a paint grenade on his knee and a tag with the name 'Stigma' on his left arm sleeve.

Stigma looked at Abe as he lounged in the trench and asked, "So what's for dinner?"

"Not now Stigma," Abe replied.

"Dude I'm just curious about the menu," Stigma said.

"You already know what the menu is," Abe responded. "It would either be canned rice, or canned fish. And since some glutton ate all the rice. It's gonna be fish. Unless, of course, you want to get your lazy butt out of this trench, and across the river into the trees to find us a squirrel."

"I thought Don was supposed to handle the squirrel hunt?"

"Don is busy with maintenance. And Rose is still recovering from his leg injury from last week. So unless you wanna call in for a new recruit, we don't have a lot of options."

"What about you Abe?"

Abe scoffed and replied, "I did, last week with Rose," before looking back in the direction of the blue team's barricade with his telescope.

Stigma lounged back onto to the trench and kept silent for a couple moments before asking, "How is Rose by the way?"

"He's fine," Abe responded. "He should be back on his feet this evening. Not bad for an infectious gash."

"Didn't he say he was from Yellowstone? They got a lot of tough ones all the way out there."

"I don't know man. Either way, between the man's tolerance and the new medical AI unit we received, I wouldn't be too worried if brain cancer tried to show up."

Stigma leaned forward slightly, "Wait, we have a medical AI unit now?"

Abe looked at Stigma and replied, "Where have you been? The 21st century?" before looking back out into the field.

Blue Territory
Hunter and Monkey continued looking out into the field from their barricade. Monkey noticed Hunter was starting to look a little troubled by something and broke the silence with, "Ok, what now?"

Hunter looked at Monkey and said, "I don't know. I just keep having this strange thought in my head."

"Did you leave your box of cereal out again?"

"No I remembered to put that back."

"Did you forget to check on the paint mines up front?"

"I'm too paranoid for that."

"But you are forgetful at times."

"Why do you think I get so paranoid?"

Hunter stood there for a moment. "Good point," he replied. "Ok... if it isn't those things. What is it?"

"Well..." Hunter pondered for a minute. "I know it sounds weird. But do you think the writer here is just writing this conversation because he doesn't have any other ideas for conversation topics for us even though this is only the intro chapter and..."

"Woah woah woah woah woah," Hunter interrupted. "What's all this about a 'writer'? And why would you even bring that up?"

"Well, you know I have trouble coming up with things to talk about."

"You think that's because you don't have any social or conversational skills?" Monkey remarked.

"What?" Hunter was taken aback at the comment. "I'd say my social skills are adequate enough."

"Not according to Leila."

"Oh what does she know?"

"Buddy, she was your girlfriend for like two years before you two broke up so, I'd say a lot."

"Whatever," Monkey replied just as his communicator gave off a buzzing sound indicating that someone was trying to contact him. He tapped a pad on his right arm to open a line with whoever was calling. A deep voice spoke out through the communicator in response to the tap.

"Monkey, Hunter, you both copy?" the voice said.

"We read you Lieutenant," answered Monkey.

"Both of you get back to base. I need to talk with y'all bout something."

"On it sir," Monkey responded with.

"And Monkey?" the Lieutenant continued.

"Sir?"

"HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU TO PUT YOUR DAMN CEREAL AWAY?!?! Keep this up, and I'm gonna start sending the commander some tasty bribe gifts. Now get over here!"

The communicator deactivated and Monkey stood in silence for a moment.

"Crap," he sighed.

"Pretty much," Hunter replied. "Now come on. Let's get going," he told Monkey as He walked into the woods.

Monkey followed behind slowly as they made their way to the Lieutenant.