The Seasonal Awards

Supernatural/Thriller Results

Hello contestants! Here you'll find the results for the Supernatural/Thriller genre. A big thanks to the judge, ray_of_sunshine9 – it was a requirement to follow the judge, so if you haven't done so yet, please do. If you were a winner and didn't follow the judge (to note: a permanent follow) you will not be receiving your full prize.

The rest of the contestants, you will be PMed your reviews and scorecards.

And without further ado: the results!

🥇First place – Keen's Turn: The Vampire Appeal by MelainaBlanc 🥇

Total: 99/100 

Review: 

I think this is genuinely one of my favorite stories, out of all the ones I've had to read for numerous contests this year. I honestly do not have much feedback to say here – this is fantastic. It is clear, polished, and extremely tense.

I love how real Jared feels. He definitely makes a fitting protagonist – and his daring nature is what makes us intrigued, but also stressed for him. Like, seriously, if I was him, and I was going through what he was going through, I'd not only be staying with Judy – I'd be clinging onto her, or any human being, and refuse to be alone. I admire his courage.

I also was feeling the tension throughout the story, and that little thrill was so great for this story. When he walked back into his house, and was second-guessing everything – from the shower curtain to the shoes – I was in full panic mode. Don't get me started on how stressed I got when I heard the knock on the window.

This is fantastic. Keep up the great work.

🥈Second place: Vampire Wine by Madame_LaBelle 🥈

Total: 90/100 

Review: 

I feel like the more familiar I become with your work, the more I just genuinely enjoy reading it for leisure. I think that, overall, your writing is smooth, fluent and cohesive. I also didn't catch any glaring grammatical issues, and it all looks really polished. Well done!

I think you've done a great job with the different perspectives. They all seem different in tone, whether some feel more contemplative, while others feel more orientated by action and dialogue. I would suggest that you consider making sure the more short chapters – especially when we meet new characters for the first time – are fleshed out so that there is a clear beginning, middle and end, and it feels like we are progressing a bit more.

Additionally, while I love how cinematic your summary is, it feels like it's lacking a current conflict and goal. If survival is the only conflict/goal, maybe really emphasize that, because it almost feels somewhat like Lucy doesn't have any goals or desires from that summary.

🥉Third place – Project Servile: Defect by DoveDetta🥉

Total: 89/100 

Review: 

Okay, so, I just think Maddie is a great protagonist. I love all the awkwardness – like the way she literally threw the book behind her when the prince walked in, and just the flustered way she acted once she got busted reading about him. Hilarious, and makes her just really interesting and fun to follow, especially as we learn more about how her mother was respected amongst the vampires. I think you have a really good conversational tone happening, so keep up the good work!

For me, I just found some of the phrasings a bit hard to follow. You've got a few tense issues, a few awkwardly non-fluent sentences, and a few comma splices that overall make it a bit tricky to read and follow along. It didn't happen often, but when it did happen, it was quite jarring to read.

Also watch out for your dialogue and punctuation. When dialogue is followed by a verbal dialogue tag, (such as 'he said', 'she whispered', 'they exclaimed' – or anything referring to how the character says the words), there should be a comma before the closing inverted commas. If it's anything else, this comma should be replaced by a period (or a question mark for a question, and an exclamation mark for an exclamation). For example, you wrote:

"...this stuff all day." I said.

It should be:

"...this stuff all day," I said.