Walking In Your Fleeting World || Dazai Osamu

Chapter-7: If I can't even grasp the meaning of life

Meeting Dazai arc 3/5

-Riki's POV-

"Welcome home, Nii-san! You took quite a while!" I greet Odasaku with a smile.

"I had to go outside Yokohama to find what Dazai wanted for breakfast. All the shop owners looked at me like I'm an idiot whenever I asked them for it..." Odasaku replies in a tired voice. "Sorry Dazai, it appears they don't sell pufferfish liver." 

I shoot an annoyed glance at Dazai, but he looks away pretending to not notice. 

This dude! Stop pestering Odasaku to bring and cook you poisonous food! Thank God they aren't available easily, otherwise who knows what would happen? 

"Eh, that happened?" I reply with a superficial surprise, "Since Dazai-san just woke up, he hasn't eaten breakfast yet, what about you Nii-san? Have you eaten?"

"Not yet."

I clap once, "Perfect." 

Omg, this is my chance! I can cook breakfast for Dazai~! I've been living for this! 

I've become better at cooking because of Odasaku's influence. It wouldn't be too bad if I could impress Dazai just a little~ "Can I cook you guys brea..."

"No." Odasaku rejects me before I could say the full sentence, "You sit here, entertain this bored-for-life person. I'll cook."

Dazai only smiles and nods at his mention. Oh! These two have been growing closer. For a moment I was worried that my influence may have caused them to not grow close, but that isn't the case at all. Just like the Lites said, the major plots will find a way to happen, regardless of my influence.

"Come on! You think I can entertain him?" I frown. "Dazai-san, choose! My cooking vs Nii-san's."

"He can't choose. I chose it for you. I'm cooking, you sit here." Odasaku brushes past me. "You should rest anyway. You work way too hard, now that today you don't have any work, just sit back and relax."

I lean over to Dazai, hand over my mouth whispering, "Isn't he awesome?"

Dazai nods. "Very."

I sit down in the chair next to Dazai again. Everything in the house is still the same as a year ago. Odasaku isn't the type of person who liked making changes. The flower is still there, on the bedside table. From the way it looks, the water was changed quite a few times. 

Odasaku took care of it even when it's going to wither regardless? A smile appears on my face.

"It's drying up, isn't it?" Dazai says, seeing me looking at the flower.

"I guess. I should've just bought the plant a whole, then it would be a bit more lifetime." I sigh. "But it's way out of my league."

"Why do you take care of the kids?" Dazai suddenly questions. His left eye tells me he's serious. "You are capable to live a way better life by yourself. Yet you let them drag you down."

"Hmm, I wonder why. I guess I'm stuck with them? They gave me a place to stay and offered protection when I had nothing. Why should I betray them just because I can take care of myself now?"

"To live a better life of course! You can let go of a lot and finally enjoy your life if you start living alone."

He's right, I can't deny. If I was living by myself, I'd join the ADA. Every day would've been filled with lots of adventure and life would've been really easy. ADA offers a roof over your head, and the pay is enough for one person to get by happily. Being around good people like Ranpo-san, Fukuzawa-san, and Yosano-sensei would've been awesome. Every day would've been cheerful. Yet, Ryu, Gin, Hibiki, and the rest... I can never leave them. My life had been empty ever since I lost my parents and only sibling. I've lived like a corpse, obsessing over inanimate objects and fictional characters for inspiration to live each passing day. Losing friends and ending up all alone is scary, and I'd never want to do that.