It's been two years and one month since Elle left her old life behind to begin a new one. It's been one year and ten month since she lost him, the only man she's ever loved. Elle never intended to run away with his heart and lose it, but she had to and she carries the guilt with her wherever she goes. Every memory of them replays in her mind, even while she does simple tasks like washing the dishes... which they would do together whenever she was over at his house.
Sighing, Elle picks up one of the letters she wrote him, but never gave.
Dear Matt,
You looked so pretty today. Actually, you looked prettier when I saw tears gathered in your eyes out of pure joy. You should've seen how happy you were when I gave you that necklace. I know you wear a lot of jewelry already but with this, you looked at the necklace in awe like it was the first accessory you were ever given.
I know, I know, we both pinky promised to not say we're in love just yet (even if we know that we are deep down), but I can't help it.
I've already fallen in love with you, and I'm still falling.
I wish I can relive today again. In every single moment, I felt more and more alive. It was just you and me, under that tree. You engraved our names on that tree so horribly - you even spelled your own name wrong. It was funnier when you spent at least ten minutes trying to make it perfect, only to spell it as 'Mathew.' Your laugh was so loud but it was, and always will be, my favorite song. From small giggles to loud outbursts of laughter, I love every single tune of it.
Do you know what I love so much about you? The way you try new things for me and with me. I taught you French today and it was the highlight of my day. You were like Joey when Phoebe tried teaching him the language; not a single word was pronounced correctly. The way you said "s'il vous plaît" sounded more like "silver plate" and the way our laughter intertwined still plays in my head.
Elle bites her inner cheek as she feels a lump in her throat and tears gather in her eyes. The memory of that day feels vivid. She still remembers what the weather was like that day, how cold the water from river by their tree was, how loud the birds were chirping across the sky, what cologne Matt was wearing, and even what rings he had on his fingers.
God, whenever I'm with you I feel like I'm floating. I feel like I'm in a dreamy fairytale. Is this what love feels like? If so, I want to stay here forever, with you.
