knight in amor | na jaemin // discontinued.

D-day

"You've been looking at me like that all day" Jaemin said with a frown and she pouted

"Im sorry...I know you hate it but I just...how can someone look so good in hospital clothes" She said changing the topic and he smiled

"You're worried" he said and she nodded

"My brain is like... preparing to never see you again but my heart feels like it's going to be ripped out any second" She said as a tear slipped down her cheek

"I'm sorry" he said, motioning her to sit on his hospital bed

"It's not your fault...I'm sorry you probably have 500 things to worry about i don't know why-"

"I worry about you too. Honestly I'm not even worried about the surgery" he said, acting strong for her as she cried into his shoulder

"You're only saying that" she said with a sniffle and he chuckled

"No love I'm serious. It's just another surgery and I'm going to come out all better, I promise!" He said with a bright smile and she looked into his eyes, savouring the sparkle and glint of hope in his eyes, but only seemed to diminish the more she frowned.

Jaemin sighed as he realised there was nothing he could really do or say to make her feel better. She tried to stay strong, put on a smile for him, try to act like everything was okay, like everything will soon get better. But she couldn't. The mere thought of never seeing him again made her upset by the slightest.

"Hey" Jeno said as he entered the hospital, soon followed by Renjun, Mark and Haechan. The boys exchanged a bright smile with Jaemin, hiding the sympathy from their eyes knowing that Jaemin would only get even more upset.

"Hey guys" Jaemin said, mustering up a smile as he saw his friends who wished him their best

"Did the doctors run the tests yet?" Renjun asked

"Yeah we're just waiting on the results, they said it'll take a while" Yeseul answered, taking a steady breath in and Jeno smiled softly, standing by her side to offer full support. This didn't go completely unnoticed by Jaemin either, how he wished it was him that could stand next to her and protect her through it all then to drag her into this misery.

"Congratulations on the engagement by the way, hopefully the next wedding is better than the last" Haechan snickered as they all smiled, remembering the hectic plan that followed the day.

"Hi sorry to interrupt, the paperwork has been filed and the test results are back, you're all set to go. The surgery will begin in an hour and we'll start the anaesthesia a few minutes before then" the nurse said informing Jaemin and he nodded

"Your vitals are normal so don't worry too much" Renjun said, reading over the test results that the nurse handed to him

"We'll be transferring him to the operating room soon" the nurse said to Yeseul as she exited the room

"Alright boys, say your goodbyes" She said with a dry chuckle as she slowly left the room, allowing Jaemin to spend some time with his friends alone. The feeling of nausea was creeping up on her the more she waited around for the surgery to commence, the tightening in her chest and the feeling of her stomach doing backflips was enough to keep her holding onto the wall for support.

"Are you alright?" A nurse asked as she passed the girl and she nodded with a genuine smile, wiping away the small beads of sweat forming on her forehead

A good few minutes had passed, Jaemin's grandfather even came in to see him after all the paperwork he had finished, wishing his best for the boy before everyone decided to give Jaemin and Yeseul some time. The nurses brought him to the wards near the operating theatre where he would soon be sedated, a room only restricted to family members.

"You're really quiet" She said, noticing how Jaemin seemed to not want to talk to her. His eyes were red and slightly puffy, probably from bidding the boys goodbye and she couldn't blame him. She tried her best to be strong for him, she had to be.

"I don't want to say anything to make you sad" Jaemin said, looking up at her as she sat at the edge of the hospital bed.

"Can I hug you?" She asked and he frowned slightly at her need to even ask him. But he nodded nevertheless, and she carefully manoeuvred her body so she could almost be lying by his side.

"I want to tell you this if I never get to tell y-"

"Jaemin please don't-"

"Just hear me out" he said, planting a small kiss onto her forehead and she nodded, muffling her sobs into his chest, her ear directly over his heartbeat.

"You deserve the world. You're the nicest person to ever exist. The way you take care of me, show me love- I'll never forget it. You make me, me. You complete me. You're my strength, so i need you to stay strong for me. I need you to be there when i come back, I don't want anything to change the way things are...i want to come back to you" he said, spilling out everything he had wanted to say. Jaemin was a man of action as words never worked well for him, but given the current situation, he had to let her know somehow.

"I'll be strong for you" she said through her tears, lifting her head up and reaching her hand to his face to wipe his tears that fell.

"Please come back to me, I need you" she said and he nodded

"I need you too baby" he smiled through his tears and hers only fell harder at the sweet name he had for her

"I love you so much, you know that yeah? I'm sorry, i should have said it more" he pouted and she shook her head

"I love you too" She said, reaching up to kiss his lips and he smiled into it, kissing her back with his own trembling lips. A few minutes passed where they laid in silence until the doctors had to seperate them for the anaesthesia.

"Can I stay for this part?" She asked and Taeil nodded slowly

"They're just going to put him to sleep" he said and she nodded

"Hold my hand, I won't let go" Jaemin said and she smiled, wiping a tear away as she placed her hand in his. His fingers rand softly over the ring, a smile lighting up his lips.

The words of the other doctors and nurses went unheard by Yeseul as she got lost in his eyes, watching them as the looked at her with love. They slowly started to droop and she could tell he was fighting to stay awake longer, to live in the moment slightly more.

"Don't fight it, I'll be right here when you wake up" She said

"I love you Yeseul" he mumbled as his eye lids started to weigh down on him

"I love you too Jaem" she said as she watched him finally close his eyes, not opening them again, the muscles of his hand slowly loosening up as it slowly gave up his grip on her. Her tears fell harder as his hand dropping to the side, he looked incredibly peaceful, almost a smile on his face as he was induced into a slumber, and she only hoped that he thought of her as he slept through his surgery.