Tomax/Nom - Love Isn't Easy (The Wanted/BoyxBoy)

You're Not Alone

Tom's P.O.V

One moment of controled pain. Just one moment I said to myself as the blade rested lightly on my skin, Ready to gauge in at any moment.

I'm gay, But I don't want to be. Nobody will treat me the same once they know that I'm this way I'll be the Gay one, not Tom. I pressed down causing the blade to peirce my skin. I let out a low groan. The stinging felt good. It was relieving.

Blood trickled down my forearm slowly. The red goo found it's way from my wrist to my inner elbow. I just sat there and stared at it. I never thought I'd be the type to do this. I sighed.

One cut. It was nothing. I won't do it again or so I hope. I ran some water over my cut to clean it out. It stung more but the pain was bearable. I grabbed a bandage from a drawer under the sink. I placed it on my cut gently as I slipped the Bandage wrapper and blade I'd used into the garbage. I stared at myself in the mirror.

Gay boy. Faggot. Freak. All these words were being said to me, by me. Imagine the hate. The constant torment of others. Just because I like guys. Being famous only adds on to the stress of it. My bandmates wouldn't look at me the same.

They'd think I would automatically like them just because I like boys. I'll admit it'd be easier to fall for one of them but I'm not a damn rapist. I wouldn't force anything. I walked out of the bathroom and plopped onto my bed softly.

Life was so hard. I couldn't change the fact I didn't find girls attactive or so in the way me mates do. I've been fighting these feelings for to long. They can't be hidden inside me anymore. It's unhealthy.

As I sat on my bed in my own pit of despair my phone rang. I answered after a few rings. "Hello?" I said hastily.

"Oi Mate. It's Max." I heard Max's Manchester accent say through the phone. Max and I are close. He's like my best friend, My brother and my Dad all in one. I like him. He likes me. Just not like that.

"Hey Max. Whatsup?" I asked, trying to sound cheery though I was far from it. "Just thought I'd tell you that I'm calling all the boys together to make an announcement at 5:00. At the studio. Yeah?" He said.

I really wasn't in the socializing mood but I couldn't just miss an anouncement. I agreed. "Sure. Any clues you can give me 'bout it?" Curiosity had come over me. I really did want to know.

"You'll find out soon enough. Just be at the studio at 5:00." Max said almost sounding nervous. This only boosted my intrigue but I respected him. "Yeah yeah. I will." I said sounding iritated. He replied with a simple see you later and hung up quickly.

I put my phone back on my side table. The digital clock that sat on that very table read '1:00 P.M'. 4 hours. I was left to sit here for four hours til I had to get up and wear a fake smile. I closed my eyes. I was tired. Not literally. Emotionally. I wanted the pain to end. I drifted off to sleep.

...

My eyes shot open. I immediately looked at the clock, 4:34. I had to literally forget all my shit and leave. I called my driver to come around and get me. Soon we were on our way to the studio. I looked out the window as buildings passed by, Checking the clock to see that I am not 100% late.

I looked at my clothes. I was in sweatpants and a T-shirt. I didn't have time to look nice. I was rushed. Those will be my excuses. Max means a lot more then shitty clothes but I had to wake my ass up to make it here. Look at me worrying about my clothes. I really am gay.

Soon the van was parked in the studio parking lot. I looked up at the big building as I slowly walked in. The other boys were sitting around waiting no doubt for me.