Cupid's Chokehold (Golden Guard/Hunter x GN reader) BOOK ONE | RE-EDITED

~If this is a rom com, kill the director~

Now playing: Kill the Director by the Wombats 

"I'm gonna loose my mind if I have to be around you any longer." Hunter sighs as you continue to explain My Little Pony FIM lore. 

"But then she took their cutie marks. Rude, right?" You ignore him. "And the worst part is that she gets a whole redemption arc! Eight year old me was horrified of these episodes."

"I hope you realize how much I do not care about Starlight Glimmer's redemption arc." He looks at you with the most emotionless expression he's ever given you. A record, nice.

"Maybe you should get yourself a redemption arc." You huff, crossing your arms across your chest as you turn around, looking at him as you walk backwards through the woods.

"Maybe I should." He shrugs. "Or maybe you could explain the lore of something interesting?"

"Like the ow-" What did we talk about breaking the fourth wall, Y/N? "Like the hunger games!" You correct yourself (strike one, two more and I'm killing off your love interest), and Hunter looks at you in disbelief. 

"How do you go from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, to the freaking Hunger Games?" He laughs, and you shrug in response.

"Same thing." You wave a hand in the air dismissively. "Twilight Sparkle, Katniss Everdeen, no difference. Both series gave me equal amounts of emotional damage."

"My Little Pony gave you emotional damage?"

"The ending felt like my whole childhood finally deciding to leave me, okay?" You protest, your voice cracking slightly.

"No, you're literally a six year old."

"A sentimental six year old."

"L/N, you're a weirdo." 

"And you haven't tried to kill me since I explained season one! You're becoming soft, Blondie." You tease, turning back around so you don't run into a tree while walking backwards. 

"This way!"

The unfamiliar voice causes the two of you to immediately rush in another direction, hiding behind a large bolder. 

"I could've sworn I heard them." 

"Hunter, I have an idea. But it's highly illegal." You whisper, and his eyes are filled with concern. "You'll live. I just need you to follow my lead." With a sigh, you draw a spell circle and begin singing the first song that comes to mind for this kind of situation.

"Come little children, I'll take thee away. Into a land of enchantment." You close your eyes, hoping to the dear Titan this would work. "Come little children, the time's come to pla-"

"You're giving away our spo-" Hunter cuts you off, before you give him an 'I know what I'm doing' look.

"The time's come to play. Here in my garden of shadows." Hunter might've just ruined your whole plan with his interruption. "Follow sweet children, I'll show thee the way. Through all the pain and the sorrows." You can still hear the footsteps of the people trying to find you, but they're fading away. You might have to use up a lot of strength to get them far enough for you to run. "Weep not poor children,  for life is this way. Murdering beauty and passions. Hush now dear children, it must be this way. Too weary of life and deceptions. Rest now my children, for soon we'll away. Into the calm and the quiet." You can't seem to concentrate the spell anymore, so they must be far enough away. You open your eyes to see your spell circle fully faded, and Hunter is staring at you in pure amazement. Or maybe thats fear.