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Starvation. God Anjisnu thought he knew what true hunger was, but about a week into this trip he threw the old definition overboard. In addition to the hunger, he was facing the challenge of finding a new name that he approved of. He'd narrowed the list down to two or three names now, but it was way more stressful than he'd thought. 

On top of that, he was having a hard time keeping his senses in check. Normally he didn't have any trouble with this at all, he'd simply cover his nose, or smell the necklace of perfume that dangled from his neck. But with the added exhaustion and hunger of being on this boat and being completely unable to eat anything for so long, his senses were going crazy. 

His stomach would rumble every time this small oddly kind woman offered him food, he had no desire to kill her, it was rather the opposite. she was one of the few people on this boat he didn't want to pass due to the illness or starvation that overtook most of the ship's crew. 

And he humored her from time to time by eating some of the stored bread that she'd offer. Though it exasperated his stomach far worse than the hunger did alone. Eating human food wasn't impossible, though when it happened on an empty stomach it was a lot harder to keep down. 

When he did happen to eat what was given to him through the kindness of the others on the ship, he'd get horrible jabbing pains in his lower intestines. It was like getting branded on the tissue that lined his stomach. Most of the other symptoms were similar to food poisoning. And sometimes when the pain got too bad, he'd wind up puking back up the food later. 

He couldn't help it, he tried, he'd hate wasting food he didn't need but his body was not built to digest those foods, so when he did eat them, his body gravely tried to expel them. It would cause him to be nauseated and dazed for hours at a time. It was even worse than the seasickness he'd experienced when he first got on the ship.

He had to reassure so many people that he wasn't ill, though they didn't believe him. It was taking a toll on not only his body but his brain. He was certain that he would become delirious if wasn't careful. He didn't want another accident. That was the last thing he wanted to happen. But at this rate, he wasn't certain that he could control his hunger. 

Maybe his mother and father were right, maybe he was just a monster. 

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⏰ Last updated: Oct 13, 2022 ⏰

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