State Of Mind

Chapter 2

"I heard you were absent from school today." Killua hesitated. "mother I was...on a date with Gon-" her eyes brightened. "Oh! That's amazing sweetie!" Gon chuckled. Killua blinked, then smiled. "I'm glad you're not mad at me mother" She smiled. "why would I be? My baby's finally got a boyfriend" Killua flushed. "M-Mother-" Gon smirked and scooped him up. "Let's go then, babe~" Killua squeaked, covering his face as Gon carried him to his room. Gon set him down on the bed and then sat down as well, sliding his hand up one of Killua's bare arms. "So smooth~" he murmured.

Killua flushed. "E-Eh?" Gon kept rubbing his arm and he blushed. Gon pulled his shirt off and he shifted a little. "Your body is so beautiful," he murmured. Killua frowned, glancing down at his stomach, "but I'm chubby." Gon rubbed his stomach and he smiled a little. "You're not chubby, you're beautiful the way you are" Killua teared up a little and Gon kissed his tears away. "don't cry love," he murmured. Killua wrapped his arms around Gon. "I'm just so happy!" he cried, burying his face in Gon's shoulder. Gon held him close, kissing his cheek. "You are my one and only Killua," he whispered.

The next day they went to the beach, and Killua was still a bit insecure so he wore a tank top with his swim shorts. He was sitting on a towel in the sand, sifting his hands through the soft grains when Gon walked by and he paused, face flushing red. He was shirtless, Killua had never seen Gon shirtless before. Holy shit he's so fucking hot. If he was in an anime he'd probably have gotten a massive nosebleed right about now. Gon looked over his shoulder with a chuckle. "Something wrong?" Killua shook his head, shamelessly checking him out. Gon smirked and sat down in front of him. "I could've given you a closer look if you'd just asked" Killua covered his face. "G-Gon!"

Gon laughed. "what? That's what you wanted wasn't it?" Killua huffed and laid his head on Gon's chest. "I love you" he mumbled. Gon kissed his cheek. "I love you too Killua," he said. The next few weeks were pure bliss, Gon always knew the right thing to say, the right thing to do, Killua loved him so much. He was just so perfect...

It was a Friday and Gon and Killua were cuddling. Gon was laughing, nuzzling his cheek. Killua blushed, leaning into him. "I love you" suddenly he heard a beeping noise. Killua blinked. "hm?" Gon stopped laughing and he glanced around, suddenly the world started...to go dark. Killua's eyes opened, and he was looking at a ceiling. There was a constant repetitive beeping noise and he glanced to the side, confused. His eyes widened as he saw that he was laying on a plain white bed, and there was an iv tube in his arm. w-what? Suddenly a woman appeared and she gasped. "he's awake!" she called, towards the door.

Killua struggled to sit up and the woman made him lay back down. "shh, hey it's ok", "w-where am-" he coughed, his throat felt so dry. "kid...you've been in a coma for three weeks" Killua froze. It was...all a dream...? Tears started rolling down his cheeks. No....No....no no no no- he glanced down at his wrists, and...the ugly scars that ran all the way up his arms. Suddenly Alluka came running in, sobbing. "BIG BROTHER!!" He hugged him, her body shaking. Killua wrapped an arm around her. "A-Alluka..?" She gripped onto him. "N-never...never ever ever ever do that again!" She cried. Killua blinked. "Huh?" Alluka glanced at him. "Do you...not remember?" He shook his head. "No. I just remember hearing a noise and then I was...in the bed-"

Alluka gripped onto his arm. "You...tried to kill yourself..." she whispered. Killua hesitated, the memories...started coming back to him. "O-Oh..." she snuggled into his side, crying hard. "Y-you had cuts from your wrists to your shoulders. S-so much blood-" the door opened, and his mother locked eyes with him. "Oh good, you're finally awake" she said, with.. an underlying tone of irritation. Killua started crying again. I'm not ready...no.... Let me sleep again. I didn't wanna wake up! The nurse Did a few tests and asked a few questions, alluka held onto him the entire time. Soon enough he was free to go, and prescribed some medicine. Alluka wouldn't stop hugging him the entire ride back home. His mother didn't say a word to him. Killua tugged his sleeves down over his wrists, not even looking at Alluka.

"We had to replace the carpets in your room," his mother said suddenly. Killua looked down. "I'm...sorry mother." Alluka opened her mouth, about to say something when Killua silenced her by wrapping an arm around her. His mother sighed. "If you insist on making a mess, move to the bathroom alright dear? It's easier to clean up" Alluka's fist clenched and Killua placed his hand on it, kissing her forehead. "Shh..." Alluka buried her face in his shoulder. "i-it's like...she doesn't care..." she whispered. That's because she doesn't. He thought. And why would she? Even my little siblings do more work and are more useful...

970 words

To be continued...