Defenceless II One Direction

9. Tour?

Louis' POV

I felt my skin crawling. There was darkness everywhere and I was falling down and down. It was a never-ending fall. I didn't shout or screamed for help. I felt peaceful, for the first time. There was no screaming, shouting, expectations, desires, control, hope, nothing. It was just peaceful. Until.

"Louis, what did you do?" I heard a cry. My eyes were closed, and my mind was numb.

"Louis, open your eyes. Stay with me. Nothing will happen to you." I heard the voice again. I could see a ray of hope, a ray of light through the darkness. I opened my eyes and saw Daisy, my little sister who was all over the place. I closed my eyes as I felt pain. She tied a handkerchief on my wrist to stop the bleeding.

"Lou, it's gonna be fine. I'm here now. Open your eyes." She patted my cheeks. I tried to look up. She took me in her embrace and started rubbing my back. She wiped my tears from one hand. I could feel the shivers running through my spine.

"Lou, you're okay. I'm here now. You're safe." She said wrapping her arms around me. And this is what I needed right now. I hugged her back tightly. Tears were still flowing down my cheeks. It hurt. Being alive, hurt. Being strong, hurt. I could hear her soothing words in my ears as she tried her best to calm me down.

"You're not alone, Lou. We all are here for you. You're going to be fine."

I don't know how much time we sat like this. She stroked my back whilst saying comforting words in my ears. My hiccups had finally stopped and so had my tears, but I was still shivering, and I was still scared.

"Lou, never hurt yourself again. You don't know how many lives depend on you and I'm not just talking about our family. There are millions of people out there who look upto you as their inspiration. You don't have to be strong always, but you can't be weak like this as well."

I don't know why but my vision got blurry again hearing this.

"No, don't cry. You're allowed to be weak and vulnerable, Lou but harming yourself is not going to take away your problems. You've to face and fight them because I know you can do it. And again, you're not alone, Lou. Never think like that."

"I... i...." I tried to speak but nothing came out.

"Shss.... No, don't speak right now. Just try to calm down. You're okay. Just take deep breaths." She said breaking the hug and making me face her. She wiped my tears and helped me breathe. She took my hands in hers and rubbed them to stop the shivering. It felt like ages when I finally stopped shivering and my breathing was back to normal. I was back to normal.

"I'm sorry, D." I whispered. She nodded and took me in her embrace again.

"No, Lou. It's okay. But I really thought that you don't get panic attacks anymore." She said, concerned.

"Yeah, I was fine for a long time. I think there's so much happening right now....." I trailed off.

"No worries, Lou. You need some rest now. Go to bed and I'll change the dressing on your wrist. We'll talk tomorrow." She helped me get up and tucked me in the bed. Cliff lied down beside me, his head on my stomach. Daisy quickly applied medicine on my cuts and covered it with bandage.

"Do you want something to eat or drink?" she asked sitting beside me, stroking my hair. I nodded no.

"You should also go back to sleep, D."

"No, I'm staying here, Lou. I know you won't say but you could use someone right now." She smiled and slipped down beside me. I gave her a weak smile, kissing her forehead.