With neighbors like these, who needs enemies? (multifandom)

FAMILY MATTERS

Summary:
Shen Wei’s influencer Didi Yezun arrives in Tallahassee and Da Qing has to host him and it’s hard- well, it makes Da
Boya takes Qiming on a road trip back to New Orleans to meet his parents with the kids

There was a disturbance in the peaceful Shen-Zhao household, which was the only apartment with a settled enough pair of residents living there to be considered reputable, because Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan had been married for a whole month without having an audible argument or needing more groceries to feed Yunlan’s bottomless pit. It wasn’t down to either regular residents to be fair, but rather professor Shen’s Didi Shen Yezun.

Yezun was a top American influencer on Tik Tok and general internet celebrity on other websites people didn’t talk about in public, one of those people who had exactly the right face to make buckets of money by doing silly dances and showing off his tiny waist in crop tops, much unlike his serious Ge. He had run into some problems with being so famous though, and his landlord refused to let him stay in his current building in downtown Miami because a few fans had figured out where he lived and caused a ruckus for the other people living there, but Shen Ge had an apartment free where he rented. Miami was far busier than sleepy Tallahassee, which made the rent cheaper of course! The landlord was originally offering him the advertised apartment, yet when he asked how quiet and non confrontational the neighbors were if he made noise, he was suddenly advised to try sharing with the young man who had just moved into Zhao Yunlan’s old apartment or sleeping on professor Shen's sofa.

It was more out of fear for the new move that Bai Jintang strongly recommended staying with Shen Wei, because his brother Yutong and his esteemed fiance Dr Zhan were both generally disruptive when not at work and short tempered if anything threatened their peace that wasn't Gongsun putting his baiju bottles out for recycling. They did meet after trying to report each other to the police and planning systematic sleep torture after all, however good they were at being normal now. No man should have to put up with that every night and whenever work wasn't calling.

Shen Wei had just been doing dinner prep for that day's meal of orange duck, fried noodles and crab soup, when Yunlan went to answer the door. It could have been anyone at the door, considering how close they were to the shockingly friendly residents in the rest of the building, for example, Wen Kexing had pooed by with his fiance Zhou Zhishu once to borrow some rice wine and soy sauce because Walmart didn’t have any, and Lao Wen was entertaining his adoptive mother for the day. Bai Yutong and Zhan Yao also visited randomly, to talk about work at either the police station or university depending on the topic of the day, and to borrow cooking ingredients too because the residents in the crazy asian block couldn’t just need a cup of sugar to make tea.

However, the person at the door was not at all expected. With his dyed white hair in a shag cut, Gucci sunglasses and an all white super dry tracksuit, Yezun was there to stay until he found a place that suited his standards and the landlord would let him live there. “Wei Ge! I’m living in Tallahassee now, and my prospective landlord told me we could be neighbors again. Do you have a spare room I can pay you for, wait, who are you, ruffian?”, he asked accusingly, staring at Zhao Yunlan’s bird nest hair and unruly beard. In his defence, it had just been his week off and it wasn’t like Shen Wei was going to complain as long as he showered before bedtime sex and trimmed his beard so the hair didn’t go in food when he ate. Those were admittedly very low standards, but that was how they rolled in the Shen-Zhao household. Shen Wei came out, wondering who could possibly have turned up that didn’t know his husband, or knew he was a semi permanent slob, to find his Didi in the hall with two rolling suitcases.

He hadn’t seen Yezun for a decade, since young Shen Wei left for university in Massachusetts to pursue a scholarship in natural sciences and left his Didi in the care of their nice old neighbors in Seattle. Being a professor of biology that bathed in textbooks and research papers, he hadn’t exactly been keeping up with the latest trends in social media, yet his students had always talked about MianMian on something on Tik Tok like the influencer had a big stake in people’s lives. Zhan Yao helped him find a picture of the amazing MianMian, and Shen Wei was generally surprised to see his brother. “Come in Didi, we don’t have a spare room and you won't want to sleep on the couch since this lazy oaf I married hasn’t replaced it with a better one yet. Gege is cooking dinner soon, come eat with us.”, he replied invitingly.