~Guilt~

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⚠️Cutting, self conscious, pills, and may just be disturbing to some⚠️

[2 weeks later. Sorry idk what to really write in between there and now]

I woke up in Kurt's arms. As usual. I love him so much. I get out of bed and walk to the bathroom. I get undressed feeling super bloated. I hate myself. I'm not even close to being good enough for kurt. I just look so bad and not the right fit for him. I shower and not even think about getting ready for the day. I put on sweat pants and a black hoodie. And just went back downstairs to get some food. I got the food out, and made a grilled cheese but then realized I didn't need it. I was too fat already. So I gave it to Eddie. I walked to one of our extra bathrooms in the house and sat there. I went on Instagram to look up memes but saw all these pretty girls. I found pills in the drawer and took them. I didn't know what they were but hopefully they will help. I hate how ugly I am. So I put my phone down and cried. I heard Kurt's voice say "where's y/n?" And Eddie just said "idk" kurt started to panic. I felt bad but I was crying so much that I couldn't stop. I grabbed on of the razors out of the drawer and started to cut my arms again. I heard kurt stop as he got close to this door. After I finished 2 big cuts on each wrist I just sat there. Crying and crying. I heard kurt bust through the door. He looked at me and ran over to me. He didn't know what to do so he yelled for Eddie which scared me. I let my wrists sit and bleed. Eddie can running in and saw kurt said "Eddie comfort her while I grab shit" Eddie shook his head yes and sat next to me and hugged me. I leaned into the hug and just cried. Kurt came back a couple minutes later and put a washcloth on my wrists. He let it sit there and put his forehead to mine. I was still crying and Eddie was still hugging me. All I felt was comfort. Kurt picked the washcloth up and put bandaids on me. He whispered to eddie "she's okay. It's okay" I heard Eddie sniffle. I looked over at him. He was crying. I felt bad so I started to cry even more again. I leaned my head on Eddie's. I stood up and Eddie did to he hugged me and I leaned into the hug holding my wrists up. Kurt grabbed me and I completely dug myself into him. I felt super sick. Probably from the pills. So I fell to my knees. Kurt caught me and carried me up to our room. I sat on the bed feeling guilt. I didn't say anything. Kurt came over and rubbed my arm. He looked at me concerned. He called Eddie up and whispered something that I couldn't hear to him. He passed him a 20$ bill and Eddie ran out of the house. I looked at Kurt confused. He just grabbed me into a sitting hug. He sat against the headboard of our bed and then called me over. I sat in between his legs and he cuddled me into his arms. Eddie's came in with a bag. About 10 minutes later......

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