She's wide awake and lies on her bed, it's already late at night and everyone is already in a deep sleep. The pitch-black night drowns her to the deepest place in her head and makes she swamp in the river of her thoughts. Without being aware, her pillow already soaked with her own tears. The dead silent just makes the voice inside her head scream out loud and constantly repeat the same phrase over and over again -"I want to die" like a broken record. She has no will to keep alive; thought her. All the things that happen now are like a never ending maze because after a shit happened, another shit will come. She wondered when was the last time she slept without having worries and doubts.
She keeps watching her favorite movies of her wild imagination where she always changes the scenes about how she will end her life. The scene she holding a knife and stab her own abdomen with the crimson red blood running through the wound and she cheesing weakly vividly plays in her mind. Little she knows that it's a sign of mental illness. She hugged her pillow tightened and imagine as it was a human with a warm body that can talk back to her when she says something because night will always be the time she talked a lot since she locked her mouth in the morning to avoid interaction with people around her. She always hoped that the wall will responded whenever she ask something, but sadly only her own voice echoed back to her with the same question. She never told anyone how fucked up her mind is and never-
