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Please, don't rush me to enter a relationship. When it comes to that, I don't take shortcuts. Never. It may take a year or decades or even... Lifetime. But never the shortcut.
But believe me, I have someone on my mind every day (I bet majority of the people around my age already have fallen to the trap of liking someone, whether in secret or not, and it includes me). I always mention that person in prayers. Sometimes, I didn't get the chance to talk about myself because "that person" is the only topic between me and God. And I didn't pray for that person to end up with me. In fact, I pray for his bests. I pray for a girl who'll support his passion, respect his family, help him towards success, and draw him closer to the Lord. If it takes not having me as the BEST for him, then, fine, let God remove me from his life. With all honesty and without sugarcoating. That's what I say to God whenever he's the topic... (aside from small rants about his cluelessness, his charm towards other girls, and that famous "why-on-earth-I-can't-get-him-off-my-mind?!" problem, which irritates and amazes me at the same time). Being loyal to my feelings with someone, even we don't have a romantic label, is something a stupid person would do. You have no idea how many guys chatted my account, asking for a relationship, and confessing their feelings for me. Not that I'm bragging. This is for the sake of understanding how STUPID I am to reject others, 'cause I'm busy liking someone who seems clueless about my regards to him. But, hey, I bet nobody can escape the venom of stupidity when it comes to love... Right?
But you get the point.
You see... I tend to cooperate with God, A LOT, when it comes to His timing and His plans. He is my Main Guidance Counselor, I tell you. However, God hasn't yet revealed the answer to me when it comes to committing in a relationship. It's either, yes, be with that person you like... or just wait patiently... or no, and let go.
To select among those three options are still a mystery to me, because God hasn't yet giving His signal.
If ever option A happens... Man! That person is awesomely BLESSED to have me, (kidding) HAHAHA!
But if ever it's option C... it will hurt, for sure. I'm prepared for the pain. Well, I HOPE I am prepared (After all, what's the point of love without a little drama, right?). Maybe I'll find someone new, someone whom I really do deserve.
Or maybe NEVER.
However, I chose to hang on the option B. To wait patiently. Years... More years... And another cycle. Still waiting. Still him.
Anyways, I trust God even in His silence.
["When the time is right, I, the Lord, will make it happen," - Isaiah 60:22"]
For now, let me enjoy the freedom of my singleness, the insane struggle in college academics, the hunger to gain a professional degree, the focus in serving God, the moments with family and friends, and the independence as a young adult.
And keeping this feelings between God and I, until the right time has come.
No rushing. No shortcuts.
❤️ ❤️ ❤️
Author's Note;
Hi, this is my own experience when it comes to being pressured to enter a relationship... and liking this certain someone for such a long time. You could say that it's like a journal essay. I hope you enjoyed reading. And if you're also struggling the same way as I do, feel free to let it all go here in the comment section. I would love to read and reply if I could, and even mention you to God in my prayers.
