She wipes her hands on her denim shorts. They can't seem to stop shaking so she fiddles with the all-access badge around her neck, hoping Pierre won't notice. She's always been nervous on race days, but she used to like the atmosphere, loved to feel the rush and adrenaline in the air. Now? Well, now everything feels different somehow一almost wrong.
She takes a deep breath, puts a small smile on her face and tries to focus on what her best friend is talking about. Today should be about him, she's here to support him after all.
"I have a meeting with Franz in 15 minutes so do you mind waiting in the pit lane? My mom should be around. I'll come and find you when I'm done."
"Yeah, sure! I'll be fine, don't worry about me," she reassures him with a smile.
She's fine. Another lie to add to the ever-growing list.
"Where are you gonna be watching today?"
"What do you mean?" she frowns.
"I mean, you're gonna go to Ferrari, aren't you?"
There it is. The question she has been dreading for days. But telling him right now would be a terrible idea, she doesn't want to compromise his focus before an important race. Truth be told, she just isn't ready to say it out loud. It would make it real and she isn't quite sure she can handle it right now.
"No, I think I'll stay at AlphaTauri," she says, her voice coming out a bit squeaky. "You're P6, I'll cheer for you!"
"Cool! You know I won't mind if you ditch me for Charles though, right? You can cheer for both of us! You've been doing it for years."
She laughs and thankfully, he doesn't realize how fake it sounds, even to her own ears.
"Yeah, well, that's my job as your best friend. Go now, you don't want to be late!"
"Okay, I'll see you later!" he laughs as she pushes him inside so he can meet with his team.
She takes a moment to soak it in as team mechanics rush to get the cars ready. The stands are already filled with thousands of spectators eager to see one of the most prestigious F1 races of the season. She's always liked how Monaco comes alive during this weekend, fans walking down the narrow and crowded streets of the city, celebrities and wannabes sipping champagne on hotel terrasses and dozens of yachts moored in the port.
She greets a few people as they pass her by, some familiar faces she's gotten used to seeing these last four years. She stays as far as she can to the Ferrari stand, averting her eyes and focusing on everything around her but the people in red. She ends up going back to the AlphaTauri garage to hang out with Pierre's mom, Pascale. She's known her for as long as she can remember, back when Pierre and her were busy throwing handfuls of sand into each other's faces in their little preschool in Rouen. After that, it was history really. She'd spent so much time at the Gasly's house that she'd gotten used to sharing a bed with Pierre and cheering him from the stands in his early karting days. It seemed like a lifetime ago now but their bond was still as strong as ever, their friendship still undeterred by the success and pressure that came with being in the elite of motorsport.
She's still not convinced being here is the greatest idea but, as a resident of Monaco, she'd run out of excuses when Pierre had asked her what time she was gonna be at the circuit. Not going to the race would definitely have been a red flag (no pun intended) and she would have had to lie, again. They haven't really seen each other in the last few months -he was busy racing around the world- so she's made out an excuse about how they needed to spend as much time together to catch up, and purposely avoided mentioning Charles. So far, it was working. But she still feels incredibly guilty about it. She'll tell him soon, she promises herself. Once the race was over, she'll talk to him and tell him the truth. She just needs to get through the next couple of hours, surrounded by supporters wearing red and chanting her ex-boyfriend's name.
